


1992

by GeneratorCat



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: A lot of them - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Baseball, Dancing, First Kiss, I made myself sick with how sweet this is, Jason is a nerd, Jason is so smitten, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Self-Discovery, Sharing a Bed, Skateboarding, To Kill a Mockingbird references, really if you have a problem with that book you just shouldn't read this fic, stuck in the closet, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8672887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeneratorCat/pseuds/GeneratorCat
Summary: Jason gets stuck in a closet with Tim Drake. It's the beginning of a beautiful... friendship.





	1. September 26

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning on waiting until I had this mostly finished before I started posting, but I've hit a bit of a wall and I'm hoping some feedback will help get things rolling again. So any comments will be very greatly appreciated :)
> 
> As you may have guessed from the title, this is set in 1992. Mostly the reason for that is that one day I was thinking about that episode of Boy Meets World where they go to their first "make-out party" and Cory is super nervous and adorable. I pictured Jason in that situation and couldn't get it out of my head, along with the whole nineties aesthetic, which is just so Tim Drake. Also, in this setting, being gay would be a bit more... shocking, or difficult for a teenager to accept. 
> 
> Lastly, thank you to Redbirdcalling and Cinnamonskull for all the help you've already given, talking the story through with me and giving such wonderful love and support <3
> 
> Oh, and the boys are like fifteen here.
> 
> Okay, you can go read it now :D

When Jason gets out of here, he’s going to punch Roy. Right in his stupid face. And whoever else was involved, but mostly Roy, because it had to have been his idea. Jason can still hear his friend laughing in the main room. At least he can hear Kori, too, yelling at Roy for being an idiot. Small comforts. 

In the dim light coming from the crack under the door, Jason sees the person next to him take a half-step closer, and Jason shoots back as far as he can, which is only about three inches before he runs into a shelf hard enough to bruise his spine and knock something down. “Hey, wait, what are y-”

Then there’s light, and Jason blinks until his eyes adjust, and he sees Tim Drake moving back, hand falling away from the string hanging by Jason’s head. 

“Oh,” he says dumbly. 

Tim rolls his eyes a little and bends down to pick up the stuffed bunny Jason had knocked off the shelf. There’s not much room though, and his head brushes Jason’s thigh on the way up. Jason freezes, but Tim just runs a hand through his hair to fix it (unnecessarily, with how much gel is in his unmoving spikes) and leans past Jason to set the toy back in its place. 

“I’m not gonna kiss you,” Jason blurts out, and it feels like he yelled it, in such a small space. 

“Okay,” Tim says, eyebrows raised. He moves back to the other side of the closet, less than two feet away. “Wow, you are really nervous.”

“I’m no.” Jason feels his ears heat up. “I mean, I’m not. No.”

Tim sighs. “Let me guess: this was supposed to be your first kiss?”

“No!” And this time Jason is sure he yelled.

“Well,” Tim tells him with a shrug, “I haven’t kissed anyone yet.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah. I mean… okay. But I don’t want to kiss you,” he insists. Again.

“You know, it might be helpful if you write  _ I don’t kiss boys _ on your forehead in black marker, just to  _ make sure _ no one gets the wrong idea, but yeah. I understand.” 

“I just want to make sure you know.”

“Don’t worry,” Tim huffs, “it never crossed my mind. Your heterosexuality remains unquestioned.”

Jason swallows. “Good.”

Noise from the party comes through the door, the beat of the music and people talking. Jason tries to get comfortable in the cramped space, but he doesn’t know what to do with his arms. That’s not something he usually has to think about, but right now his whole body feels off and gangly and wrong. He wishes he hadn’t taken off his jacket so he could stuff his hands in his pockets. 

Tim doesn’t look like he’s going through the same struggle as Jason. He’s just standing there, leaning against the wall, looking at all of the stuff on the shelves. Completely comfortable. And why wouldn’t he be? 

Why isn’t Jason?

They’re not doing anything. They’re not going to do anything. There’s nothing to be nervous about. 

No reason for Jason’s insides to be all jittery. 

But they are.

Tim clears his throat and Jason startles, realises he’s been staring. He almost apologises, but that would mean acknowledging the staring, and he can’t bring himself to do that. 

Tim asks, “When is that test on  _ To Kill a Mockingbird _ gonna be?”

“Um.” Jason frowns. “What makes you think I would know?”

“Please, Jason. We’ve been in most of the same classes since kindergarten. I sit right next to you in history and English. I know you get straight A’s and,” Tim leans in an inch and grins. “I’ve seen your tracker.”

Jason, inexplicably, blushes. 

Tim explains, “I know you marked the date and color coded it to match the meticulous notes you took.” 

“You...” He noticed all of that? Jason gives a feeble cough. “You make it sound like I’m some kind of nerd or something.”

Tim raises an eyebrow again. He’s good at that. “Jason, you  _ are _ a nerd.”

“I’m not!”

“You are. But it’s cool, I won’t tell people, if you want. I can keep a secret.”

Jason would thank him, but then that would mean acknowledging it. Like the staring. So in the end he just studies his shoelaces and mumbles, “It’ll be on the fifth,” and glances up in time to catch Tim’s smile.

There’s a loud thump against the door, and then a shout from the other side, “You two having fun in there?”

“Fuck off, Harper!” Jason yells back. He tells Tim, “Roy is such an idiot. I’m gonna get him back for this, one day.”

Tim gives him a strange look then and asks, “Why are you mad?”

“Because,” Jason says, and that’s all he can think of because the answer should be obvious, right? “Because I wanted to kiss a girl tonight and my asshole friends shoved me in here with you.”

Tim’s tongue flicks out across his bottom lip. It’s a quick movement, but Jason catches it. “So you’d be just as mad if you were in here with some other guy?”

“Yeah? I mean, why would I care more that it’s you?” He and Tim aren’t friends, or rivals, or anything, really. They’ve known each other for eight years and they’ve had a total of a dozen conversations, this being the longest. Tim is a cool enough guy, but they just haven’t ever crossed that line into friendship territory. They have a perfectly neutral, amicable relationship, and Jason doesn’t know why it would matter that he’s in here with Tim, instead of Dick or Jaime or Vic. 

Although… Jason wouldn’t have been as nervous with Dick or Jaime or Vic. He would have laughed it off right away. Laughed with them. 

He doesn’t know what the difference is. Doesn’t know what that means.  

Tim shrugs, but it’s a little stiff. “No reason. Sorry you got stuck in here,” he motions toward himself, “like this.”

“It’s okay,” Jason sighs. “Could have been worse.” It really could have. If it had been his first kiss, his first time with a girl and he messed it up… which he probably would have. He was, he’ll admit to himself, freaking out beforehand. He wouldn’t have known what to do. Then again, it might have worked out. Maybe the girl he got paired with would have known, like Kori or Barbara, and she would have kissed him, and he could just enjoy it. “Of course, it could have been better, too, if I’d actually gotten to kiss someone.”

“Hm,” Tim responds, his eyes jumping over Jason's face. 

Jason laughs, a little too loud because he has a crazy thought that pops into his head, and it makes his insides jump around again. “Hell, I’m gonna get teased about this anyway, we may as well just kiss.”

The second the words are out, hanging in the air between them, Jason stops laughing. He snaps his mouth shut, before anything else comes out, because that was stupid, such a stupid thing to say. His eyes dart over to find Tim watching him closely.

“Jason… Do you-”

The door opens, and both Tim and Jason quickly look over to find a group of teenage boys leering at them. 

“Doesn’t look like anything happened here,” Wally says.

Tim rolls his eyes. “Nope. He was a perfect gentleman,” he tells them, and pushes his way through the group and back to the party. 

With a few smirks and winks at Jason, the rest of the boys leave too, until it’s just Roy leaning against the doorjam, looking guilty, and Kori standing behind him, arms crossed.

Jason matches Kori’s stance. “You’re a dick.”

“Yeah,” Roy says, shooting Kori a look, and Jason is surprised because he actually sounds sorry. Roy pulls him out of the closet. “Come on, make room for the people who want to have fun in there.”

They walk over to a corner of the room that’s slightly less full of people. 

“I already yelled at him,” Kori says, “but you’re free to add to it. I’m sure you want to.”

Jason smiles. “Thanks, Fire.” She rolls her eyes at the nickname, but returns the smile, which turns into a grin when he leans in and whispers conspiratorially, though loud enough Roy can still hear him, “I’ll get him back later.”

“So, what happened?” Roy asks quickly, maybe in a vain attempt to distract them both from that idea.

“What? Nothing.”

“Really?”

Jason frowns. “Dude, why would anything have happened? It’s a guy. It’s Tim Drake.” 

“Exactly, it’s Tim Drake.” Jason just stares in confusion so Roy explains, “Okay, look. So I didn’t know before, or else I wouldn’t have shoved you in there with him, I mean, I was just joking around, you know?”

“Real funny joke,” Kori scoffs. 

Roy wisely doesn’t argue. “So I meant it as a joke, but while you were in there, some of the guys told me...”

“Told you what?”

Kori, for the fist time since kindergarten, looks uncomfortable.

“They told me Tim is gay,” Roy whispers. 

“...What?” Jason glances up and spots Tim talking to Conner Kent and Bart Allen, and right then Tim looks over toward Jason. He gives Jason a half-smile, but it falls when Jason can’t make his face return it, or look away, or do anything but gape. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> upadate: there is now super fucking rad [fanart](http://generatorcat.tumblr.com/post/165828452752/muiiq-sort-of-fanart-of-generatorcat-s)!!!! go check out 90's!Tim :D


	2. September 28- October 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He waves to Tim at lunch and Tim only hesitates a little bit before he waves back. They’re on opposite ends of the room, so Jason thinks Tim won’t be able to see how he bites his lip to keep from smiling too wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I was going to post this chapter on Sunday, but I'm really excited because Y'ALL ARE WONDERFUL and all of your comments and encouragement helped me get past that block!! So have this early as a thank you <3
> 
> See what happens when you support your fic writers?? :D
> 
> Also, this fic is unbeta'd, so if you spot any spelling or grammatical errors, feel free to point them out.

Jason is early to History class on Monday morning. He sits down at his desk by the window and takes out his notebook and pen and textbook. The class starts to fill up, slowly, the students shuffling in half awake. When Tim walks through the door Jason notices immediately, and he straightens up. Then he forces himself to slouch down, casually.

Tim falls into his own seat, right next to Jason’s. He doesn’t look over, but he usually doesn’t, so Jason can’t figure why he’s disappointed.

He watches Tim for a minute, his hair all spiked up, his baggy shirt sleeve dragging along the desktop as Tim moves his stuff around. The way he taps the toe of his chucks. All stuff Jason has seen a thousand times out of the corner of his eye, but today it’s… interesting.

Today, Jason isn’t content to ignore Tim Drake.

“Hey,” Jason says.

Tim picks up a blue pen and writes something on his hand. Why, when he has a notebook full of paper to write in, Jason doesn’t know. He wants to, though.

“Tim. Hey.”

Tim glances up, looking around him but not seeing anyone trying to get his attention, until he finally turns toward Jason with a small, confused frown. “What is it?”

“Oh, um. Nothing. I was just saying hi.” Jason suddenly wants to face plant onto his desk.

“Hi,” Tim answers, but it sounds more like a question. Understandable, since Jason _just saying hi_ to Tim has no precedent.

Jason doesn’t have anything to talk about with Tim, they really don’t know each other that well, but he wants to keep Tim’s attention, so he blurts out, “What did you write on your hand?”

“Oh, this?” Tim glances back to the scribble of blue ink. “It’s a reminder to bring Conner’s CD tomorrow so I can give it back to him. He left it at my place yesterday.”

“Why not use a piece of paper?”

Tim shakes his head. “I’ll shove it in my pocket and forget about it.”

“Oh,” Jason says brilliantly. “Then that’s smart of you.” He wonders if he can hide under his desk for the rest of the class.

Tim smiles a little though, so everything is okay.

Miss Lance comes in and starts the lesson, and Tim faces the front of the room. It takes Jason a minute or so to do the same. When he does there’s a new assignment written on the chalkboard and Miss Lance is telling them about the project due in two weeks, so Jason grabs his tracker and flips to the right day to record the information.

He looks up to find Tim watching him, with a smirk in place.

~

Next day, Tim gives Jason a nod as he sits down.

Jason nods back. “Did you remember the CD?”

“Shit,” Tim sighs, slumping in his chair. “No. I guess it washed off,” he says, holding up a clean hand.

Jason laughs. “Not the best system, then?”

“There is no good system, apparently. I’m not willing to tangle with permanent marker.”

“You need someone to remind you. An actual person.”

Tim narrows his eyes, calculating. “Do you think there’s a person out there that has that job? Like, you pay them to make a phone call and remind you of stuff?”

“Maybe, sounds like a pretty easy job.”

“I wonder how much I’d have to pay them,” Tim muses. “Ten dollars a call?”

“It’s not worth that much,” Jason says, privately horrified at the idea of spending ten dollars on something like that, and the fact that Tim doesn't seem to have a problem with it. “Hell, I’d do it for you for free.”

Tim looks up from the dragon he’s doodling on his notebook. “You would?”

Jason shrugs. “Yeah, I mean. Friends do that sort of thing. I wouldn’t charge Roy for a phone call. Although,” he grins, “maybe I should start. He calls me enough, I could be rich.”

“Are we?”

“What?”

“Friends.”

“Maybe not,” Jason admits. He keeps his eyes on his desk. “But we could be.”

“Why?”

Jason glances up then. “What?”

Tim’s reply is cut off by Miss Lance starting class.

~

He waves to Tim at lunch and Tim only hesitates a little bit before he waves back. They’re on opposite ends of the room, so Jason thinks Tim won’t be able to see how he bites his lip to keep from smiling too wide.

Roy notices, though. “What’s up with you and Drake,” he asks through a mouthful of cheeseburger.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been staring at him all week.”

“All week? It’s only Tuesday.” Jason nips some of Roy’s fries, and Roy lets him.

“Okay, you’ve been staring at him for two days. Which is still all week so far, and interesting considering you’ve barely paid any attention to the guy since we were six.”

Jason shrugs and wishes he had some mustard to eat with the fries. “We started talking, I guess.”

“Is this about what happened at the party?”

“Well, as it turns out,” Jason explains, pinning Roy with a hard look, “being locked in a closet together by a bunch of assholes is a bonding experience.”

“So you don’t care about the gay thing?”

Jason flushes. He’s been thinking about that a lot, and then trying to figure out why, when it really has nothing to do with him. It’s just… interesting. And he does care, but. Not in a way that makes him not want to talk to Tim. But he doesn’t know what that means, or how to explain it to Roy, so he says, “That’s just a rumor anyway, right?”

“Rumor had to come from somewhere,” Roy points out.

“Well there’s also that rumor about Kori being an alien princess, so I can’t believe there’s much validity in any of the gossip that circulates in high school.” Although, as far as outlandish rumors go, that one is at least not offensive. Kori actually loves the idea that people think that about her, and Jason isn’t entirely convinced she didn’t start it herself.

Roy raises both eyebrows, but after a moment just says, “I guess,” and finishes the last of his burger.

~

On Thursday in English, when Mr. Kent tells the class to pair up for their next assignment, Jason takes a deep breath and turns around in his chair. He leans his elbow on the front of Tim’s desk and asks, “Do you want to do it with me?”

Tim’s head snaps up. “What?”

“The project,” Jason explains. “We could partner up. For that.”

“Oh, Um...”

“Unless you don’t want to.” Disappointment makes his insides feel heavy, and he gets a little mad at himself for feeling so much about something that doesn’t _really_ matter.

Tim shakes his head. “It’s just that-”

“Yo, Timbo!” Bart pops up next to Tim’s desk, his dark red hair flopping into his face and words flying out of his mouth. “So I’m thinking we should go with Boo Radley’s physiological trauma and mental illness. I think we can get a lot out of that, if we explore how that sort of thing was treated at the time, or _not_ treated, really. As we see in the book. Which, I get that they didn’t have access to the right sort of doctors or medicine, but still, being cooped up in the house for thirty years would be detrimental to anybody’s state of mind, much less someone who’s already suffered-”

“Bart,” Tim finally interrupts.

Bart doesn’t seem at all offended, just focuses his eyes back on Tim and asks, “Yeah?”

“I think, um,” with a glance at Jason, Tim tells him, “I think I’m going to work with Jason on this one.”

Both Jason and Bart blink at that, but Bart recovers first. “Oh, yeah? Okay, that’s totally cool, dude.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine.” Bart waves it off. “I can work with Cassie!”

With that, he runs away to the front of the room and starts talking to Cassandra Sandsmark, likely spilling the same speech he had to Tim. She sighs and glances over to Tim, who shrugs and grins apologetically. Cassandra just smiles a little and turns back to Bart, who’s still going, either not noticing or not caring about the exchange between her and Tim.

Tim clears his throat. “So. Do you have an idea for our subject?”

Jason, still a little stunned that Tim had chosen him, takes a minute to find a response. “Um. Maybe.”

Tim smiles. “Yeah? Wanna tell me what it is?”

“Dill.”

“What about him?”

“Well, Dill was Scout’s friend,” Jason starts, slowly forming the idea as he speaks. “He introduced a lot of new concepts and a different point of view into her life. One of the biggest themes of the book is the ruination of innocence, a child being faced with things she doesn't know how to handle and trying to figure out how they fit into her worldview. Some of that comes from Dill, but I think people tend to skip over that. They don’t think he’s a very important character, or that he has much impact on Scout’s development.”

“But you do?” Tim asks softly.

Jason nods.

Tim nods back. “Sounds good. Do you want to come over this weekend, to work on this?”

“Sure,” Jason says, and again, he has too much feeling in his chest, but this time it’s light and wild.


	3. October 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim’s bedroom is a mess. A horrifying, shocking mess after the clean, organised state of the rest of the house. There’s clothes everywhere, video games and VHS tapes scattered around. A few books. Candy wrappers and empty chip bags. Haphazard stacks of CDs. One of the dirty socks might be actively crawling under Tim’s bed. 
> 
> “I guess I should have cleaned up,” Tim says sheepishly, as if just now realising this might be a problem for a sane human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty proud of this chapter. It's the one I got stuck on, and it felt so great to finish it :D

Jason takes the bus to a part of Gotham he’s only been to once before, that one Halloween four years ago when Roy and Kori and he got the idea to go to a rich neighborhood, to get the best candy. It had paid off handsomely, and the three of them would have gone back the next year except they decided that twelve was too old to go trick-or-treating; they were almost teenagers, practically adults, and trick-or-treating is for _kids_.

He has a scrap piece of paper in his pocket with Tim’s address scribbled on it in blue ink, but he doesn’t take it out. He’d memorised it. The walk from the bus stop is only two blocks, but part of Jason wishes it were longer. It’s a nice day, cool and clear October weather and orange leaves rustling by his feet on the sidewalk. And he’s nervous. He doesn’t have many friends. The only people Jason hangs out with, one on one, are Roy and Kori. There are people that wave to him in the hall and chat with him at parties, but as far as actual conversation, and spending time in someone’s home, and _knowing_ each other, Jason has limited experience, and he doesn’t want to do the wrong thing with Tim. He has this nagging voice in his head whispering, _you’re gonna mess it up_ , and _he doesn’t like you_ , and _no one likes you_.

That last one, logically, Jason knows isn’t true. He has his two best friends, and he doesn’t doubt that they like him. Most of the time. Even if occasionally he thinks they don’t want him around.

But there’s no reason to be sure of anything with Tim. Sure, he chose to work with Jason rather than Bart, but maybe Tim just gets tired of Bart and needed a break? The kid is a lot to handle. Tim probably would have jumped at the chance to work with anyone, and it happened to be Jason that asked.

And why should Jason care, anyway? So what if Tim Drake doesn’t want to be his new best friend, they both already have friends. They’ve been getting along just fine for eight years with the non-relationship they already have established. There’s no reason to change it, and Jason shouldn’t have started talking to Tim. He should have left the guy alone because Tim doesn’t need Jason in his life.

Who needs Jason.

“Hey! Jason, hey!”

Jason snaps his head up, turns around to see Tim standing at the top of the short steps to a brownstone apartment building, waving at him. Jason had been so caught up in his thoughts he’d walked right past Tim’s house. Making an effort to unclench his fists around the straps of his backpack, Jason walks back to Tim, stops at the bottom of the stairs.

“You okay?” Tim asks.

“Yeah.” Jason swallows. “Just wasn’t paying attention, I guess.”

“Are you sure? You looked pretty pissed off.”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Tim says, looking very much like he doesn't believe him. “Well let’s go inside.”

Tim opens the door and waits for Jason to climb the steps and follow him into the lobby.

“Why were you waiting outside for me?”

Pressing the call button for the elevator, Tim says, “Maybe I knew you were gonna walk right on by and needed help.”

“So, what, you’re psychic?”

“Might be.”

Jason reaches over and smacks Tim lightly on the back of the head.

“Hey!” Tim shoots Jason a hurt look, and his hand flies to his hair, which is spiked slightly less rigidly than usual on top.

Jason shrugs. “You didn’t see that coming.”

The door opens, and they step through. Tim pushes the button for the top floor, still rubbing his head. “I didn’t see you being violent, either.”

“Oh, calm down. I barely touched you.”

Tim grins and drops his arm.

The ride up is silent, eight floors of awkwardness, but Jason doesn’t mind too much, more focused on keeping his equilibrium. Elevators always make him dizzy. He’s grateful when they stop and Tim leads the way to his door, painted green with a little brass _H4_ nailed on. Tim unlocks the door and pushes in, and Jason follows.

It’s nice. Jason knew it would be, it’s a nice building in a nice neighborhood. There are classy decorations on the walls and a vase that looks like it came from a museum sitting on a shiny little table. Tim slips off his sneakers and leaves them on a low rack by the door with a few other pairs of shoes, so Jason does the same. They go into a living room that hosts big, leather, cream-colored couches and a massive television. The coffee table is just as shiny as the little table, and there’s a book about art sitting on it, but Jason gets the feeling that no one ever reads it.

There are fresh flowers everywhere.

It’s all very nice.

And a bit uncomfortable. For Jason, at least. It reminds him of the first few times he hung out with Roy after Oliver Queen took him in. When he saw up close for the first time how people with real money live. Part of him had been jealous of Roy. Most of him had been intimidated.

Ollie’s place is even nicer than the Drakes’, but this feels different. Someone has gone though a lot of trouble to make the place feel like a home, like a happy family lives here, but it’s not quite right. It’s not natural.

“This is the living room,” Tim says, looking like he’s painfully aware how unnecessary the statement is but it’s polite, and he’s been trained to be polite.

“Never would have guessed,” Jason says. “Here I was thinking it was the kitchen.”

For just a moment he regrets mocking the way Tim was raised, but then Tim laughs. “Speaking of the kitchen, would you like something to drink?” he asks, in an overly formal tone, and Jason smiles.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna grab a soda real quick before we go up to my room.” He turns and Jason follows through a swinging door, into the kitchen. There’s a woman there, blonde and pretty, mixing something with her hands in a large bowl on the counter top. Opening the fridge door, Tim says, “Hey, Dana. This is Jason.”

Dana smiles. “Hello, Jason.”

“Hi,” Jason answers. “Um. Nice to meet you.”

Sodas in hand (two of them, Jason notices), Tim shuts the refrigerator and walks over to look in the bowl. “I gotta say, that looks disgusting.”

Jason tenses, but Dana just laughs. “It’s four pounds of raw beef, of course it’s disgusting.”

“What will it be when it’s cooked?”

“Meatloaf.”

“Not disgusting, then.”

“Let’s hope not.” Dana pulls her hands out of the mixture, and they’re covered in egg and bits of meat. She grabs a canister of breadcrumbs between her forearms and carefully tilts it to pour some into the bowl. Tim makes to take it from her, but Dana _tsks_ at him. “I got it. So, Jason, are you staying for dinner?”

Jason startles a little at being addressed. “Oh, um. I don’t know.”

“You should,” Tim tells him. “This will be pretty good when it’s done. Probably.”

Dana shoves Tim with her hip, but Tim smiles.

“Okay,” Jason says. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Dana says.

“Cool. I mean, thank you.”

Tim walks back to the door and Jason, who’s been standing right by it. “We’ll be up in my room.”

“Okay,” Dana replies, folding the meat over itself.

They leave and go up a staircase to the second floor. The sixteenth floor, actually. Now Jason understands why the elevator buttons only came by even numbers. They pass a few shut doors and Tim opens the one at the end of the hall.

Tim’s bedroom is a mess. A horrifying, shocking mess after the clean, organised state of the rest of the house. There’s clothes everywhere, video games and VHS tapes scattered around. A few books. Candy wrappers and empty chip bags. Haphazard stacks of CDs. One of the dirty socks might be actively crawling under Tim’s bed.

“I guess I should have cleaned up,” Tim says sheepishly, as if just now realising this might be a problem for a sane human being.

“Maybe a little.”

“We can go back to the living room, if you want.”

“No. That’s okay.” Because the living room is uncomfortable, and this kind of is too, but somehow it’s better. It doesn’t have that forced cheerfulness, the smell of too many flowers. And for some reason, Jason wants to be in here. In Tim’s space. “This is fine.”

“Okay, um. Here.” Tim picks up a pair of jeans and a half-eaten pack of gummy worms from his desk chair, then sweeps his arm across the surface of his bed, knocking everything to the floor. With a grin, he turns back to Jason. “There, take your pick.”

Jason sits on the bed. Then he thinks that was probably a weird choice, and he should have gone with the chair. But. He wanted to sit on the bed.

“Cool, cool,” Tim says and plops down onto the chair. “I like swiveling anyway.” And he does, kicking off and twirling around full circle.

He’s wearing shorts. Jason doesn’t remember ever seeing Tim in shorts. They end a few inches above his knees when he’s sitting down. His leg hair isn’t very dark. His skin is pale.

Tim’s socks are two different colors. It makes Jason smile, a little, before he looks at his own socks. There’s nothing wrong with them, objectively, but he’s suddenly embarrassed of them. Of his jeans and his shirt and his backpack and his hair and just everything. He feels too big for the space he’s in, like he doesn’t fit in the room, or in his own body. Doesn’t belong here. Not like Tim. And yeah, it’s Tim’s home, he should be comfortable in his own room, but that doesn’t explain why Tim looks comfortable at school, or in that little closet at the party. Tim Drake just blends in to any environment, and Jason wishes he could do that. Instead he feels wrong, everything he does is wrong. If Jason’s socks were two different colors, it wouldn’t make anyone smile.

“So,” he says, slipping off his backpack and setting it on the bed next to him. He would put it on the floor but he’s concerned it might get lost in the piles of random crap. “Dana seems nice.”

“Yeah, she’s great.”

“She’s your...”

“Step-mom.”

“Right.” Right. Step-mom. Because Tim’s mother died a few years ago. Jason remembers that now, and he should have thought of it sooner. He remembers that time in the seventh grade, just a few weeks into the first semester, that Tim Drake didn’t come to school for a whole week, and there were rumors that his parents had been in a plane crash, and one or both of them had died. Unfortunately, it was one of the very few times that a school rumor turned out to be true. Janet Drake was gone and Jack Drake was hospitalised.

Jason had wanted to say something, when Tim came back to school. Sorry, maybe. But he knew that it wouldn’t do any good, coming from him, and that most of the school was already showering Tim with sympathy and the kid had probably had enough. And maybe Jason just wasn’t brave enough to try.

“Here.” Tim stretches out to hand Jason one of the sodas. “I figured you would want one.”

“Thanks.” It’s root beer, slightly warmed from Tim holding it.

Tim grabs a notebook and a pen and his copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_. “So. Dill.”

~

The meatloaf isn’t disgusting at all, and Dana looks pleased when Tim tells her so. It’s delicious, as are the mashed potatoes and green beans. The plates and silverware all match, and the table is well polished. The place mats look new. The boys are on one side of the table and Dana is on the other, Jack Drake sitting at the head. They wait until everyone is seated to start eating.

Jason doesn’t remember ever having a meal like this at home. It’s a far cry from him and his mom (and his dad, on the rare occasion that Willis Todd isn’t in prison, or out on a job, or at the tracks) scrounging up something to eat whenever they can, never together. Usually Jason eats in his room, a chipped plate balanced on his lap while he reads, or sometimes in front of the TV in the living room, if he’s alone.

It’s even different than when he eats at Roy’s place. They don’t sit down at the table with Ollie and Dinah. The boys order a pizza with the cash that Ollie left on the counter, and eat it out of the box while watching a movie in the living room, just the two of them and Kori, and Ollie breezes through and grabs a slice, gives them a pat on the back and a smile, and leaves.

Dana is asking Tim about school, about his friends. Mr. Drake hasn’t said that much other than a quick hello when he sat down.

This feels like family time, if a little stilted.

He feels so out of place here.

Jason eats his food slowly, quietly, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible.

“What about you, Jason?”

Jason looks up and Tim’s and Dana’s attention is on him. He swallows, grimaces because he didn’t chew all the way. “I’m sorry, what?”

Dana smiles. “Do you like _To Kill a Mockingbird_?”

“Um. Yes?”

“Well, it’s good at least one of you does,” Dana says, sending a loaded look Tim’s way.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Tim argues, waving his fork a little. Jason’s noticed that Tim gesticulates a lot when he speaks, waves his hands or whatever he happens to be holding. “It’s really good. I just can’t relate to much of it.”

Jason frowns. “Why not?”

For a second, Tim looks surprised. “I haven’t had to deal first hand with the issues that are addressed in the book. I haven't been the victim of prejudice, I’m not poor, or from the deep south.” He shrugs. “I don’t have a mentally unstable neighbor.”

“I don’t know about that one,” Mr. Drake chimes in, his first full sentence of the evening. “Mrs. Brendanawicz in _H2_ seems pretty unstable to me.”

“Jack,” Dana admonishes, but she’s laughing a little.

Jason hesitates, uncomfortable with Tim’s parents listening. It was easier in Tim’s room, when they were alone. Jason had still been less than totally confident, especially at first, but Tim had seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. He’s giving Jason the same open, encouraging look now, so Jason says, “Scout didn’t suffer from prejudice or poverty first hand either. That’s one of the reasons the story is from her perspective. She watches everything happening to the people around her, and she doesn’t understand why or what it’s like for them. People have to explain what it’s like to struggle, or be looked down on just for being what they are. She learns to empathise.”

Tim doesn’t take his eyes off Jason while he speaks, and keeps staring at him when he’s finished, and it briefly makes Jason forget about the other two people watching him. It’s just Tim, eating up Jason’s words and mulling them over, and then saying, “So what I should take away from the book is that I need to recognise injustice around me, and try to understand other people’s pain?”

Jason nods.

Tim asks, “Even at the cost of my own innocence, like Scout?”

“No one gets to keep their innocence.”

The table is silent for a minute, but for the clink of forks against plates as Mr. Drake and Dana eat. Tim and Jason are still, looking at each other.

Finally, Dana asks, “So, who’s your favorite character?”

“Atticus,” Tim answers, breaking eye contact with Jason to take a sip of his water. “He’s a good dad. Even with how much he works, and all of the stuff he has to deal with, he makes Scout and Jem a priority.”

Dana shoots a glance at Mr. Drake, but he’s scooping food onto his fork and misses it. She quickly turns to Jason. “And you?”

“I like how Calpurnia takes care of the kids and loves them like they’re her own.” He grins. “But I’d probably have to go with Dill.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “What a surprise, you’ve only been talking about him all day.”

“He’s there to stir up trouble, I like that.”

Tim raises an eyebrow. “You can relate to him?”

“Well, yeah, he...” He’s a scrawny, poor kid with shitty parents. Jason looks over at Jack Drake, who’s watching him back, chewing slowly. “I mean, of course not, I’m not like him at all.”

Tim laughs.

“Interesting fact: Dill was based on Truman Capote,” Dana tells them. “He and Harper Lee were good friends.”

Tim asks, “Isn’t that the guy that wrote Breakfast at Tiffany’s? I wonder if we’ll read that one in class.”

“I doubt it,” Mr. Drake says, attention back on his plate. “Not something they would assign in high school, what with the main character being gay. Among other reasons.”

Jason freezes, suddenly remembering (not remembering, not really- not when it’s been stuck in the back of his mind, constantly) the rumor about Tim being gay.

“Wait, who’s gay?” Tim asks. He doesn’t seem to react to the topic at all, and it makes Jason wonder if that means anything.

“Paul is.”

“But he and Holly get together at the end.”

Mr. Drake shakes his head. “It doesn’t end that way in the book, they don’t have that kind of relationship at all.”

“Oh,” Tim says, and then they all fall silent again and finish their dinners.

~

When it’s time for Jason to head home, Tim walks him to the door. The main door of the building, even though Jason tells him he can find his way down the hall and down an elevator by himself, he’s a big boy. Tim just laughs.

“So,” Tim says when they’re outside. It’s cold enough that Jason zips up his jacket, and Tim’s standing there in shorts and a t-shirt, but doesn't seem to mind. “I think we can get the rest of the essay done tomorrow. Do you want to work at your place this time?”

“No,” Jason says, immediately. He coughs. “Um, no, I… If it’s okay, it would be better if we just did it here, again.”

“Oh, okay. That’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Totally. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Jason gives a short little wave and steps away.

Tim smiles and watches him walk down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think!! <3


	4. October 5-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Um. I don’t. It’s just...” It’s just that bringing it up, talking about it with Tim, would make it real. They would be acknowledging the rumor, and Jason doesn’t want to do that. It’s easier when it goes unmentioned. When it’s this silly thing in the background that doesn’t really matter. 
> 
> Also, he’s scared of Tim telling him that it’s true.
> 
> He’s scared of Tim telling him it isn’t true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't update this for a little while, I'm gonna try to focus on my fic for Secret Santa.

“Where were you this weekend?” Kori asks, poking Jason in the side. She takes a purple mini skirt off the rack and holds it up to herself. “I called and your mom said you went out with a friend. Which I thought was weird, since I was with Roy the whole time, and we’re your only friends.”

“That’ll land you in detention, for sure,” Jason tells her.

With a groan Kori puts the skirt back, giving it one last longing glance before moving on. “Fucking dress code,” she mumbles. She has that look in her eye, that slightly manic fire that precedes a rant on women’s oppression and American society’s warped views of sexualisation. Jason agrees, and usually he would join right in, but he’s just not in the mood to get angry. He’s been in a good mood since Saturday, and he wants to keep it going, so he picks out another skirt, one that goes past the knees, and points out that it’s getting cold anyway, and she should get warmer clothes.

“Good choice,” Kori says, smiling approvingly at the slit that goes up the side. “And you didn’t answer me. What were you up to?”

He can tell she’s been dying to know. Jason and Kori don’t usually get to see each other much at school, so she didn’t get to ask during the day, but as soon as the last period let out she cornered him at his locker and demanded they go shopping. They left Roy out because he doesn’t see the fun in raiding Goodwill and complains the whole time.

“I was doing homework.”

“With?”

“Tim Drake.”

Kori pauses rifling through the clothes. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Jason can feel her watching him. He slides the fabric of a denim skirt between his fingers, soft after years of wear. “That a problem?”

Kori lets her stare linger, then steps over to the next aisle to inspect the sweaters. “No, of course not.”

Jason follows. “I mean, I had to do the assignment with someone, you know?”

“I know.” She holds up a shirt with a big, pink star on the chest. He nods, and she adds it to her small pile of hopefuls.

“And you and Roy aren’t in that class with me.”

“We’re not.”

“And Tim’s pretty smart.”

“He is.”

“So, it worked out.”

“Did it?”

“Sure,” Jason says. “He was good. At the essay, I mean. It was good.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.” Jason nods to himself. “Good.”

“You know what else it good?” Kori asks.

“What?”

“This.” She shows him a fluffy, deep purple sweater with a low neckline that will look incredible under her bright red hair. “I’m gonna look so hot in this.”

Jason smiles. “You are.”

~

“Yo, Babs.”

Barbara looks up as Jason and Roy walk by the main desk. The sharp overhead lighting glints off her glasses. “Hello, boys.”

Stopping to lean against the counter, Jason obverses the mostly empty library. “Wow, packed house today.”

“Tuesdays are always slow, you know that,” she says, stamping the inside of a book and setting it on top of a stack to be re-shelved. Then, “So where were you this weekend? You didn’t come by at all.”

“He was with his new boyfriend,” Roy chimes in, grinning.

“Oh, really?” Barbara asks, not shocked or outraged, but just… curious. She stamps another book.

Jason scowls and, for some reason, blushes. “He’s _not_ my boyfriend!”

Roy rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine, it was a joke.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re not funny?”

“You and Kori, every day.”

“Do you think he’s funny, Babs?” Jason asks.

Ignoring their bickering completely, she asks, “Who is this boy that’s your new friend?”

“We aren’t exactly friends,” Jason says. He tightens his grip on the straps of his backpack. “We should go find a table.”

Roy answers, “Tim Drake. You know him?”

“Got lots of homework to do.”

Barbara hums. Shrugs. “Yeah, I think I’ve heard of him.”

“Backpack’s gettin’ heavy. I’d sure love to be able to set it down. On a table. Over there.”

“Damn, Jay, okay,” Roy sighs. “Let’s go.”

The conversation drops and the boys set up at their usual table in the corner. They work on a World Geography assignment for a while, mostly silent. When they’re nearly finished Jason takes a deep breath and announces, “I’m allowed to have other friends.”

After a few seconds Roy looks up. “Thought you said you two aren’t friends.”

“Well.” Jason _tap tap taps_ the eraser end of his pencil on his notebook, the rubber bouncing softly. “If we were, everyone shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it, all right?”

“Honestly, it kind of would be a big deal.”

“Why,” Jason snaps, “because he’s supposedly gay or whatever? Am I not supposed to hang out with someone like that?”

“Fuck, Jason, no!” Sighing heavily, Roy leans back, his hands pulling across the table with a squeal. “It’s not about that. It’s you.”

“Me?”

Roy explains, “It’s the fact that you’ve only had the same two friends your whole life. You don’t talk to other people, Jay. Besides Barbara, and that’s because you practically live here. In fact, I think you were born in the classic lit. isle.”

Jason snorts.

“So,” Roy continues, “when you suddenly show an interest in someone other than us, we’re gonna notice. And we’re gonna be curious.”

“So it’s not… I mean, if Tim actually was...” Jason waves his hand, not wanting to say it out loud, again. “And I’m not saying he his- I mean, how would I know? But it seemed like it bothered you at the party.”

“It surprised me,” Roy admits. “It’s not that I have a problem with that, or you being hanging out with someone like that, it’s… I guess I’d be worried about what might be said about you because of it. If people think Tim is gay and then you get close to him, they might start saying shit about you, too. And I don’t like the thought of people saying shit about my best friend.”

Jason frowns. “I wouldn’t not be friends with someone just because of rumors that might be spread about me because of them.”

Roy smiles. “I know. And that’s one of the reasons I love you.”

“Gross.” Jason rolls his eyes, but grins back. “Besides, I don’t think that’d be an issue. I mean, people don’t say stuff like that about Bart and Conner, right? And they’re his best friends.”

“Actually, I did hear that people think there might be something between Tim and Conner. They’re like, _super_ close, so I guess people take that the wrong way.”

“What? Tim and...” Jason’s stomach twists. The skin of his fingertips prickles, too much blood suddenly rushing around, sent by his heart thumping hard and fast in his too-tight chest.

“As if,” he says, voice a little too high. He shakes his head. “No. They’re not like that. They’re best friends, of course they’re close. So are we, and that doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s true, I guess.” Roy says, starting to pack up his books. “And, mostly I was wigged out at the party because I felt bad for putting Tim in that situation. I hope he didn’t think I did that on purpose, to fuck with him or whatever.”

“How sweet,” Jason coos, forcing a smile. Roy reaches over the table to slap his arm. “I don’t think so. I made it pretty clear you were fucking with _me_.”

“Still. Would you mind making sure he knows?”

Jason falters, his textbook halfway out of his bag. “You mean, tell him you weren’t trying to pick on him for being...?”

“Would that be weird?”

“Um. I don’t. It’s just...” It’s just that bringing it up, talking about it with Tim, would make it real. They would be acknowledging the rumor, and Jason doesn’t want to do that. It’s easier when it goes unmentioned. When it’s this silly thing in the background that doesn’t really matter.

Also, he’s scared of Tim telling him that it’s true.

He’s scared of Tim telling him it isn’t true.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Roy says, and Jason breathes. “I shouldn’t make you a middleman anyway. Maybe one day I’ll bring it up to him myself.”

“Okay,” Jason croaks out.

~

Jason swings, and the ball _smacks_ off the bat, goes flying to the right and there’s Kori, suddenly, catching it neatly in her mitt. She throws it back to Roy, and he winds up for another pitch.

Roy pitches.

Jason hits.

Kori catches.

On and on, all afternoon, until their arms are barely able to lift the bat or throw the ball. Jason never runs to first base, just stays right there over the plate and meets every ball with a satisfying _pop_. Kori never misses a ball, can cover the whole field by herself. Roy stays on the pitcher’s mound, lobs in perfectly aimed throws with a wicked curve.

They stop when the sun sets and there’s no more light to play by. The parks on this side of Gotham don’t have many working streetlights. Here, the grass is scraggly and the play sets are rusted. This is where they’ve grown up. Where they call home. Even Roy, who moved away when Ollie took him in.

They wave tired goodbyes at the corner, Roy going north to the bus stop, Kori and Jason going east to her place. He always walks her home, not because he doesn’t think she could handle herself- he knows she can. But with him there next to her, it's less likely she would have to defend herself in the first place. After he sees her home safely, Jason walks around for a little longer, stretching the time before he has to go to his own apartment. He doesn’t want to go home.

But he has to, eventually.

When he gets there he sees the door to his mom’s room is shut, which means she’s home, and already gone to bed. Part of him wants to open the door and check whether she’s still breathing.

She is. He knows it. Really, it’s not very likely that anything would have happened. That she would do something like that. She loves him. She wouldn’t do that to him.

Probably.

He pushes that to the back of his mind. Forces himself to walk past the door and not open it, not check, not give that worry any real weight.

In his own room Jason props his bat in the corner by his bed and slips out of his dirty clothes. After a shower he lays on his bed, cold, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling and thinking about Tim, wondering if he plays baseball with his friends, and if he worries about his parents leaving him for the contents of a bottle.

Probably not.

He thinks about Tim’s mismatched socks and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it on a sad-ish note... but tell me what you think?


	5. October 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wanna hang out?”
> 
> “With you?”
> 
> “No, with Mr. Kent.” Tim rolls his eyes, and smiles. “Yeah, with me.”
> 
> “Um.” _Yes_ , he wants to say, but the word is tangled up in his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! It was hard to get back into the groove of this fic after stopping to finish Secrets, Secrets, Santa. And, unfortunately, it might be a while until I update this again, because JayTim Week- Valentines Edition is coming up! I have one month to write seven fics. Wish me luck!!
> 
> Also, I realised I wrote "Mr. Clark" rather than "Mr. Kent" back in chapter two *facepalms* I fixed it, but if you were wondering, yes it is Clark Kent.

When Tim and Jason get their assignment back from Mr. Kent there’s a sticker on the top with a star that says, _Good Job!_ and the man himself gives them a thumbs-up.

Tim sends a thumbs-up right back and Mr. Kent beams, day made.

Jason, turned around and leaning on Tim’s desk, raises his hand and says, “High-five!” and then wants to just die because seriously? High-five? How lame is that?

Whether Tim thinks it’s lame or not, he claps Jason’s hand with his own, and in that split second, Jason feels that it’s soft and squishy. Are Jason’s hands soft and squishy?

He feels them.

No, they aren’t. His skin is rough and dry. Are they supposed to be rough and dry, or soft and squishy?

He likes the way Tim’s hand feels.

Tim probably doesn’t like the way Jason’s hand feels.

“We make a good team,” Tim says, and Jason blinks. Realises he’s been sitting there staring at Tim’s hand and compulsively rubbing his own.

“Yeah, we do.” Although Tim would probably make a good team with anyone. He’s so smart, and easy to talk to.

“Do you want to take this?” Tim asks, holding up their assignment. “Show it to your parents?”

“Oh, um. No, that’s fine.” Jason’s dad wouldn’t care, not that he’s been home lately to see it anyway, and his mom will be just as happy if he tells her. At least, for a few minutes until she forgets. “You can have it.”

“Okay. Dana will be happy to see it.”

Jason almost doesn’t ask, but… “What about your dad?”

“Hm?” Tim looks up from the unicorn he’s doodling on the paper. “Oh, yeah. Him too, I guess. Hey,” Tim leans forward, and Jason doesn’t move back, and Tim doesn’t seem to mind, “are you busy after school?”

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“No.” He was planning on going to the library, but it’s not like he can’t skip a day. For Tim.

“Wanna hang out?”

“With you?”

“No, with Mr. Kent.” Tim rolls his eyes, and smiles. “Yeah, with me.”

“Um.” _Yes_ , he wants to say, but the word is tangled up in his throat.

“I thought maybe we could study for the test coming up.”

“Oh.” Jason just stops himself from touching his chest, right between his ribs where the disappointment sits, heavy on his lungs.

Tim glances away. Bites his lip. “Or we could just go to the arcade or something.”

“Really?”

“I mean, if you want. Whatever.” Tim’s leg is bouncing. Jason can hear the _bum bum bum_ of his chucks against the floor.

“Yeah,” he says, forcing the word out through a mess of nerves and confusion and excitement, and the relief.

Tim’s leg stills. “Yeah?”

Jason nods. The rest of his words are trapped in his gut, but that’s probably a good thing this time, because they’re all embarrassing.

Tim smiles at Jason. “Cool.”

~

“All _right_ ,” Tim cries, eyes lit up excitedly. “It’s finally here!”

Leaning in a little closer (because it’s loud in the arcade, and he wants Tim to hear him) Jason asks, “What is?”

Tim points to a game on the far wall. “ _Virtua Racing_ ,” he answers, already making his way toward it.

Jason follows. It really is loud, the music and sound effects from dozens of games playing over each other, and kids talking and laughing and cheering each other on. The overhead lighting is dim, letting the screens glow brighter.

The place is a maze, and yet Tim seems to know exactly how to navigate. Jason barely manages to keep up. After the second time Jason gets cut off from Tim by some kid running in front of him, he reaches out and snags the tail of Tim’s jacket.

Tim glances over his shoulder, and Jason thinks maybe he should let go. But he doesn’t. Doesn't want to. And then Tim smiles, and Jason tightens his grip.

Soon they make it the game, _V. R._ in big, jagged white letters and a bright red Formula One racing car painted on the side. It’s new, obviously, free of scuff marks and still shiny. Tim’s looking at it like all of his dreams have come true.

There’s a boy playing it, so Jason and Tim stand off to the side to wait.

“So… you’ve been looking forward to this?”

“Yeah,” Tim breathes, watching the car flying around the track on the screen.

“It’s. Good?”

Tim pins Jason with a grave look. “This is, like. The standard by which all racing games will be measured for the rest of time.”

Jason feels the side of his mouth tugging up. He shrugs. “Sorry, I don’t know anything about racing games. Other than _Super Mario Kart_.”

“You play a lot?”

“Don’t come here that much,” Jason says, glancing around the arcade. He usually doesn’t have money to spare on things like this. “But Roy has an Atari, and a Nintendo. We play _Mortal Kombat_ mostly. Kori’s really good at it.”

“Mm. Conner likes that one too.”

“What about you?”

“It’s fine. But I prefer things that go _vroom_.” Tim grins at him, and something about it is different than what Jason has seen on Tim before, and it makes his toes curl up in his boots.

“It’s free,” someone says, and Jason and Tim turn to find _Virtua Racing_ empty and waiting.

Tim sits eagerly in the little seat and grips the plastic wheel. “Just one round,” he promises as he slides a couple quarters into the slot and selects the expert level track. “I wish they had the two player version, so we could race together.”

“It’s fine,” Jason says, and it really is. He doesn’t mind just watching.

Watching Tim wiggle around excitedly while the automated voice counts down, _three, two, one, go!_

Watching Tim’s hands flex and tighten around the wheel.

Watching him play with his whole body, leaning to the side as he takes a turn.

Jason watches Tim, and he’s fascinated.

“Yes!” Tim does a fist pump and looks up at Jason expectantly.

Jason realises he hasn’t been watching the screen at all, and he doesn’t know what happened. He quickly glances over and sees big, pixelated words proclaiming Tim the winner. He smiles. “Awesome.”

“Thanks.” Tim grins, and he’s slightly out of breath. “We can go find another game now. Something for you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Really? I mean, I can play this any time. I have it at home. I just wanted to try it out with the wheel and everything.”

Jason shakes his head. “I don’t mind. You’re having fun.”

“Yeah, but you should have fun too.”

“I am.”

The words hang there, so simple and. Telling. Is this normal? Would he be so entertained watching Roy like this? He doesn’t think so. He doesn’t remember ever being so very aware of Roy and all of his movements like he is with Tim.

The moment feels big, but maybe it only feels that way for Jason. He feels exposed, but he doesn’t know quite what Tim is seeing. If he sees anything at all.

“Okay,” Tim says after a pause, just long enough for Jason to think maybe Tim does see something.

Jason wants to ask what it is.

If Tim likes it.

Tim says, “Okay,” again, and stands. “But it’s too stuffy in here.”

He pulls off his jacket and wraps it around his waist. He’s wearing a sweatshirt with the arms cut off, the sleeve edges frayed and uneven. Jason wonders if Tim did that himself or if he bought it that way. He wonders why Tim would cut up perfectly good clothes. Tim rolls up the sleeves of the plaid button-up he has on underneath the sweatshirt, up to his elbows.

Jason flashes back to sitting on Tim’s bed, noticing Tim’s legs for the first time. Tim’s forearms are a new and interesting sight.

Tim sits again and inserts more coins.

Jason watches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone that left a comment that I haven't replied to, I'm sorry- I've been super introverted and anxious lately and responding to anything is a harrowing task right now, but I appreciate it so very much, thank you <3


	6. October 17-27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed when he falls right on his ass and Tim laughs at him. He’s too caught up in watching Tim _laugh_.

Jason can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed when he falls right on his ass and Tim laughs at him. He’s too caught up in watching Tim _laugh_. It’s this quiet thing, trapped behind his teeth, lips fighting to stay pressed together, half-covered by the back of his fingers like he’s not allowed to let out the sound of it, the joy in it. Jason wonders who told him to keep his happiness inside. Or maybe Tim is self-conscious about his laugh and he’s the only one that ever wanted to hide it.

Or maybe that’s just the way Tim laughs and Jason is getting overly-philosophical.

Still, he wants to see Tim throw his head back and show off his teeth and laugh so loudly it startles away the birds nearby.

Tim offers a hand and Jason lets himself be pulled up. He doesn’t let go right away, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice, wiping at his eyes with his other hand. There’s a gust of wind that rattles the leaves on the trees, pulls Tim’s baggy shirt to the side and Jason can see the slight curve of his waist before the material falls back into place.

“I’ve never seen anyone wipe out so fast before,” Tim says.

“Yeah, well.” Jason releases his grip finally. “I’m special, or so my mom tells me.”

Tim grins. “She’s not wrong. Now go get the skateboard and let’s try that again.”

Jason jogs over to where the skateboard had rolled to a stop after Jason’s complete failure to ride it sent the thing flying down the sidewalk. He almost tries that move Tim does, where he kicks down on one end and the other flies up into his hand, but he sees how that could go very badly and he’s made an ass of himself enough already, so he bends down to pick it up. He carries it back and drops it in front of Tim like an offering. Tim steps on easily, perfectly balanced.

“Okay, so your problem was that you put all of your weight on one side. When you put the first foot on, you need to keep your weight in the middle,” Tim demonstrates, lifting one foot but keeping the rest of himself still, “or else it’ll go flying, like it did. Which really was just so great to watch.”

“Jackass,” Jason mumbles, turning his face down so maybe Tim won’t see him go red.  

“Oh don’t worry, most people fall off their first time.”

“Did you?”

“No.” Tim smiles and Jason rolls his eyes. Tim steps off. “Try again.”

Jason places one foot on the board, keeping his balance even like Tim did, and quickly brings up his other foot. The skateboard doesn’t go flying and Jason only wobbles a little bit. Success.

“Great,” Tim says, eyes running over Jason’s body, scanning for weak points in his form. “Loosen up in your shoulders a little, and bend your knees a fraction- perfect. Stay like that for a few minutes and get the feel of it.”

Jason shifts in slow, slight movements from side to side, testing his balance and the way the wheels slide at the smallest difference. The board wobbles underneath him and Jason’s hands shoot out to find something to hold onto, which happens to be Tim standing right in front of him. Jason grabs Tim by the shoulders, fingers curling into his shirt.

“Sorry.”

Tim doesn’t push him off; instead he wraps his hands around Jason’s forearms, steadying him. “It’s fine. I think your center of gravity is too high. It should be down here,” he says, re-positioning his hands onto Jason’s hips. He tucks his fingers into the front pockets of Jason’s worn jeans and gives a light tug downward, and Jason follows the movement, his knees bending further.

“Better?”

Jason nods. He thinks he might say something affirmative, but cognitive speech is beyond him when Tim is squeezing his hipbones, using the hold to rock him in different directions and showing him how to move, and he’s talking about balance and Jason is digging his nails into Tim’s shoulders and how has he not noticed yet- why isn’t he mentioning that Jason’s breathing is shallow and too fast and he’s obviously freaking the fuck out; surely everyone in the park can see that, so Tim should too. But he’s just. Just letting Jason clench his shirt in his fists. And standing there like any of this is normal. Like it’s okay for them to be touching like this and for Jason to be affected by it.

Oh god, why is he affected by it? Why is he reacting like this, reacting at all? If Roy touched his hips, Jason probably wouldn’t even notice. When Kori stands this close, Jason’s heart doesn’t go pounding in his chest.

“Jason?”

Jason opens his eyes. The sunlight is patchy though the trees overhead, and it plays patterns on Tim’s face.

Tim asks, “Do you want me to let go so you can try it on your own?”

Jason shakes his head. He wants Tim to stay right there. Wants Tim to hold him in place because he feels like he’s about to shake apart. “Not yet.”

“Okay.” Tim taps his fingers. Jason can feel it though the fabric of his jeans. Tim asks, “When is that History test?”

“Um.” Jason thinks back, pictures the week in his tacker. History- first row. Test- green. It’s on, “Next Thursday.”

“Could you call me the Wednesday before and remind me to study?”

“Sure.” He’ll need to write that in. He’ll need a new color; a ‘remind Tim’ color. Maybe yellow, he hasn’t used yellow yet. Jason swallows. “So does this mean we’re friends now?”

Tim looks up at him. “What, you think I let just anybody on Red Board?”

“You _named_ it?”

“Of course!”

“And the best you could come up with was _Red Board_?”

“It’s a red skateboard, Jason, what else would I have called it?”

Jason laughs. He throws his head back and startles the birds from their nests and the sound of his laughter carries across the park.

He almost falls off the skateboard, but Tim catches him.

(Maybe he’ll make red Tim’s color, and change homework assignments to yellow.)

~

After his last class on Tuesday Jason heads for the flagpole in front of the school where he always meets Kori and Roy. Tim is leaning against it when he gets there, backpack slung over one shoulder and Red Board dangling from his fingers.

“Hey,” Jason says. He does a quick swipe through his hair, to make sure it’s not sticking up funny. “What are you doing here? Did- did I forget we had plans? Because Kori and Roy and I were gonna hang out.”

Tim nods. “I was invited.”

“Um. What?”

“Well, I say ‘invited’. ‘Commanded to appear’ would be more accurate.” Tim adds, “Kori’s scary,” leaning closer like he’s letting Jason in on a secret, and Jason wants to laugh because yeah, he’s fully aware of that, but he’s having trouble with the idea of Tim and Kori and Roy. Tim and Jason. And Kori and Roy. It doesn’t… compute. He hasn’t prepared for this.

“Tim!” Kori calls, coming up next to him from behind, making Tim jump. “Glad you could make it.”

“I was under the impression I didn’t have much of a choice,” Tim answers, but he sounds more amused than upset about it.

Kori pats Tim on the back, and he stumbles a step closer to Jason, who steadies him with a hand on his bicep. “You always have a choice. Personal liberties and freedom and consent and all that. Very important. Right, Jason?”

“Right,” is his automatic response. “All that jazz. So, library?”

Kori shakes her head, her long hair swinging with the motion of it. “Change of plans. Roy is grounded, so we’re going over to his place.”  

Tim frowns. “He can have people over when he’s grounded?”

“Yeah,” Kori drawls. “Ollie doesn’t really know what parenting is. He means well though,” she adds with a shrug.

Kori and Tim are talking to each other. Jason doesn’t think he’s ever seen Tim and Kori interact. Part of him loves it and part of him hates it. The thought of his friends accepting each other is a happy one. But he feels exposed, like by getting to know Tim, Kori will somehow find out something more, something secret about Jason. Which is ridiculous, because what could Tim know that Kori doesn’t know? Kori knows Jason better than anyone, other than Roy. He also feels like Kori is holding a rock over his head, about to drop it and crack him open for Tim to see. He trusts Kori, absolutely, but he’s nervous about what Kori might say about him, about what she’ll show Tim.

“Roy got a ride home with Miss Lance, so we don’t need to wait for him. Let’s go,” Kori orders, and she marches off down the sidewalk, the afternoon sun turning her hair a blinding red.

“Is this okay?” Tim asks. “I get the feeling she didn’t run it by you first.”

“You don’t have to come,” Jason says, because he doesn’t quite know if it is okay yet. “I mean, you can if you want, but. Why would you want to?”

Tim shoots him a strange look. The sunlight makes his eyes lighter than usual. “I’m your friend and they’re your friends, so why wouldn’t I want to be their friend?”

“I just. I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“I don’t. I want to go. Free will, and all that jazz, right?” Tim smiles and sets off after Kori, who’s waiting at the corner, foot tapping.

Jason follows.

“If it makes you feel better,” Tim says, dropping Red Board to the ground and stepping on seamlessly, “I’ll make you hang out with Conner and Bart sometime. We’ll be even.”

Tim glides at an easy pace, staying next to Jason. Jason considers that: learning more about Tim. Seeing him in a different context. Seeing how he acts around people he’s comfortable with, how he jokes and moves and talks. If he lets out his laughter all the way.

“Yeah,” Jason says. “Okay, I’ll hold you to that.”

Kori leads them to the bus stop a couple blocks down. She sits on the left side of the bus and Tim sits on the right, and for a moment Jason is frozen, glancing from one to the other. He ends up staying standing, holding onto one of the dangling straps. Kori narrows her eyes at him but doesn’t comment on it. When they get off the bus ten minutes later Jason knows there was a conversation, but he can’t remember what it was about. He wasn’t really paying any attention, instead thinking about sitting next to Tim and how their arms would brush, and how Tim would lean into him when the bus turned. He should have just sat next to Tim. But then Kori would know… what? What would that tell Kori? Something, he’s sure. Even if he can’t name it. It’s something.

It’s something.

The way Jason looks at Tim is something. The way he reacts to Tim touching him is something. It must be, because it’s not like how he looks at or reacts to or thinks about anyone else.

Jason forces himself to take a deep breath, and when he lets it out it feels like that twist in his stomach unravels, just a little bit. He’s relieved, just to have that defined- this thing without definition that he at least, now, can point to and say, _it’s something_. Not nothing. It has a vague outline, a sense of color. It has weight.

It is something.

And if Kori sees it she’ll probably be able to put a name to it, and Jason isn’t ready for that.

“Hey.” Tim tugs on Jason’s jacket sleeve. He holds out his skateboard. “You wanna try and ride Red?”

Jason wants to know if Tim sees it. If Tim knows it’s something. If he can name it.

He wants to know but he’s not ready for that either.

“Sure.” Jason takes the board and sets it on the sidewalk. He steps on, much more easily than the first time, and pushes off the concrete with one foot. He glides forward and he sets both feet into place, letting momentum and slight forward and backward movements push him along.

“What is this?” Kori asks, grinning. “You learned how to skateboard!”

“Yeah,” Jason shrugs like it’s not a big deal, even though it is because he’s really proud of himself for coming as far as he has. He’s nowhere near as good as Tim, but he can do this, cruising along the sidewalk. He and Tim have practiced a few times, in the park, or on the way to the arcade after school, or two days ago when they went to get ice cream and Jason had tried to eat while riding the skateboard and had dropped his cone, then run over it. After Tim finally stopped laughing he offered to buy him another if Jason rinsed off the wheels.

“Aw, look at my big boy,” Kori gushes. “Growing up so fast and learning new and exciting things.” She reaches over and ruffles Jason’s hair, and he jerks away, stumbling off the board.

“Hey! I had a rhythm going here, you messed me up.”

“Ooh, a _rhythm_. Show me your rhythm,” Kori teases, swiveling her hips.

“Oh you wanna see some of that, huh? Okay.” Jason grabs Kori by the hand and pulls her against him. She laughs and lets him lead her in a quick salsa down the sidewalk, just like they’ve done a dozen times in her bedroom, bare feet sliding on the carpet. Just like Jason’s mother used to do with him when he was little and she still had good days. Catherine would turn on their radio- the one Jason had to duct tape back together- and swing him around the living room, teaching him the steps. She would say, “One day you’ll be grateful you know how to dance, because all of the girls will love you for it.” So far the only girl Jason has danced with is Kori, and she does love it, but probably not in the way Catherine intended. But Jason is still grateful for the lessons because those are good memories for him.

Jason twirls Kori around. A passing car honks. Jason takes a bow while Kori flips off the driver.

“I didn’t know you could dance,” Tim says. He’s holding the skateboard, having picked it up so that they wouldn’t trip over it.

Jason rubs the back of his neck, but he’s still smiling. “Oh, um. Yeah. But I’m not that great.”

“Yes you are. Right?” Tim glances between Jason and Kori. “I mean, I don’t know anything about dancing, but it looked... It looked good.”

“Thanks,” Jason says, and it comes out too soft. He clears his throat. Kori is looking at him again, the same way she did on the bus.

Tim says, “I can’t dance. At all.”

“I could teach you,” Jason’s mouth offers without his brain’s consent. But apparently his brain thinks it’s a brilliant idea because his fingers itch to grab Tim and pull him in close. He shoves his hands in his pockets. The same pockets Tim had hooked his fingers into. Damn.

Tim snorts. “Good luck with that. I’m telling you right now, I’m not responsible for any broken toes.”

“Let’s wait and break our toes indoors, boys.” Kori opens the door to a sleek, modern building. They ride the elevator up to the top floor and Kori lets herself into the apartment with a key.

Inside is open and spacious and very tastefully decorated, or so Jason has been told. The floor is shiny hardwood and every noise echoes.

Tim looks around but he doesn’t seem nearly as impressed as Jason had been when he first saw the place.

“Hey, guys,” Roy calls from the living room where he’s sitting on the couch, elbows braced on his knees and a controller in his hands. On the TV screen Johnny Cage is fighting Kano in time with Roy jamming different buttons.

Kori and Jason drop their backpacks behind the couch, and Tim sets his down as well, propping his skateboard against the back of the couch. Kori drops down next Roy, shoving him over to make room. Tim sits next to Jason on the other sofa.

Roy glances up, then quickly back to the video game. “Oh hey, man. I didn’t know you were coming.”

Tim asks, “Is it a problem?”

“No, no. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.”

Kori nudges Roy. “I want to play. Hurry up and die so we can switch to two-player.”

“I love you, Kori, but I won’t die for you.”

“Then you don’t really love me!”

“Alright fine, I don’t love you. But I’ll win for you, how ‘bout that.” Kano falls and doesn’t get back up. Instead of starting the next round Roy goes to the main menu and selects the two-player mode. Kori grabs another controller and they start a battle against each other. Roy asks, “You like _Mortal Kombat_ , Tim?”

“Tim likes things that go _vroom_ ,” Jason answers. Everyone shoots him variations of the same strange look.

Tim grins. “I like racing games better, but yeah _Mortal Kombat_ is cool.”

“I have some racing games we can play later if you want. After Kori is done kicking my ass- damn, woman, give me a fucking chance, will you?”

Kori laughs. “If you wanted to win you should’ve played Jason. Or Ollie.”

“That hurts,” Ollie says, walking over toward them, his shoes clicking on the floor.

Kori says, “But true.”

“Well. I can’t be perfect at everything, I suppose.” Roy groans and Ollie ignores him. He nods at Jason and then sees Tim. “You’re new.”

Tim stands and shakes his hand. “Tim Drake.”

Oliver's eyebrows shoot up. “Oh! Oh, of course. Sorry, I haven’t seen you in a few years, I didn’t recognise you. How’s your dad?”

Tim smiles. It’s not as easy and nice as his usual smiles. “He’s well, thank you.”

“That’s great. Hey, you and your folks should come over for dinner some time. I still haven’t met Jack’s new wife yet.”

“Dana.”

“Dana, right.”

“I’ll tell them you said hello.”

“Great,” Ollie repeats. “So, Dinah and I are going out to eat. You kids good for dinner?”

“Pizza’s on its way,” Roy says.

“Okay, good. Well you have fun. Nice seeing you, Tim.”

“You too, Mr. Queen.”

Ollie nods and heads for the door, where Dinah is waiting. She waves. “Hello, Tim.”

“Hello, Miss Lance.”

Then they’re gone and Tim sits down again.

Roy asks, “How do you know Ollie?”

“He and my dad used to run in the same circles. I met him when I had to go to galas and stuff.”

“Used to?”

“Dad hasn’t really been out much the past few years. He doesn’t do fundraisers and museum exhibit openings anymore.”

Roy shakes his head. “Man, I’m glad Oliver doesn’t drag me to those things.”

“Yeah, I don’t miss it,” Tim says. “The food was always good though.”

The doorbell rings.

“Speaking of food. Here, Jason sub in for me while I get that.” Roy tosses the controller over and then it’s Jason getting his electronic ass kicked by Kori. “Tim, you wanna come help?”

“Hm? Oh, sure.”

Tim follows Roy over to the front door and after Roy pays the delivery man they carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Jason peeks over his shoulder, watching them talk. It doesn’t help the ass-kicking, but he’s accepted that and besides, he’s more concerned about what Roy and Tim could be talking about. He can’t hear them over the sound effects and background music of the game.

Roy pulls down some plates from the cabinet. He says something as he sets them on the counter and rubs the back of his neck.

Tim shakes his head and waves off whatever Roy said. His lips move.

Jason wishes he could read lips.

Kori pokes him in the side. “You’re not even trying!”

“What?” He turns back around to find his character tragically defeated. “Oh. Sorry.”

“He’s probably apologising.”

“Who?”

“Roy.” Kori hikes a thumb over at the kitchen. “My guess is he’s saying sorry for the closet thing.”

The closet thing. Right. So that means… that Roy is possibly bringing up the fact that people told him Tim is gay. Roy and Tim might be, right now, right over there, talking about that rumor. The one Jason has been very intentionally not talking with Tim about.

About Tim liking boys.

Liking boys.

Tim.

Kori is staring again and Jason stands, mumbles, “Be right back,” and goes down the hall and into the bathroom. He stays in there until his breathing is somewhat normal and his face isn’t so bright. When he comes back the three of them are all back on the couches, eating pizza.

“Here,” Tim says, pointing to a plate next to him. “I got you some.”

“Thanks.” Jason sits and makes himself eat. Tim’s talking about _Mario Kart_ , and doing that thing where he talks with his hands as well as his mouth, and his arm brushes against Jason’s. Their thighs are almost close enough to touch. Jason can feel the heat of Tim next to him, can smell him- soap and sweat and boy.

The pizza is delicious. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw Tim Drake canonically named his skateboard Red Board. He's such a fucking dweeb.
> 
> So how am I doing with this so far? Too fast? Too slow? Is the development natural? Is anyone too out of character? I'd love any feedback :)


	7. October 28-31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jason is a really good dancer,” Tim mentions a few minutes later. “He can salsa.”
> 
> “Oh really? That’s great, I used to go dancing with my friends,” Dana says wistfully. “We had so much fun.”
> 
> “He said he’d teach me.”
> 
> Jason nearly chokes on a piece of broccoli. He’d been hoping Tim had forgotten about that, or didn’t take the offer seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished this a minute ago, and I should probably wait and read it over tomorrow and fix shit before I post, but I'm really excited to get this out.  
> Glaciya made a super cool [aesthetic](http://generatorcat.tumblr.com/post/158188564072/glaciya-made-my-first-aesthetic-for-the) for this fic, go check it out :D

“Hello?”

“Um, hi. Is Tim there?”

“May I ask who’s calling?”

“Jason. Jason Todd. His… friend.”

“Oh! Hello, Jason. Hold on just a minute, I’ll get him.”

“Thank you.”

Jason folds up the piece of paper with Tim’s phone number on it. Sticks it in his front pocket and wills himself to remember to put it in his backpack so it won’t get thrown away. Sometimes when Catherine gets her hands on a certain kind of pill she decides to clean, and ends up throwing away important things. After the time she tossed out his Art History essay Jason made a rule that she’s not allowed to touch his backpack.

“Jason?”

“Hey, Tim.”

“What’s up?”

“Um. I’m calling to remind you to study for the test tomorrow.”

“Thank you! I totally forgot about that.” Tim laughs. It sounds different over the phone, but Jason likes it anyway. “Definitely worth ten dollars. Hey, so Dana asked me just now when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think she actually liked you.”

“Does she not like your other friends?”

“Well, she does, but my other friends tend to break things. And are loud. And talk a lot. So do you want to come over this weekend?”

“Uh, sure. Saturday?”

“Saturday works.”

“Okay, cool. Well, I’ll catch you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jason hangs the phone up back in its cradle on the wall. Behind him _Wheel of Fortune_  is on, volume on low. His mom, laying on the couch, mutters something that might be the answer to the puzzle, her eyes half-closed and concentration zoning in and out.

He passes her on the way to his room. “Night, Mom.”

“Night, sweetheart,” comes the soft reply.

~

Conner picks up a CD and flashes it at Tim, who glances at the cover and snatches it away to join the two other cases he’s holding. Conner smirks.

“Shut up,” Tim tells him. “We can’t all be as cool as you.”

Jason leans over to read the CD cover. “New Kids on the Block?”

Tim closely inspects more CD’s on the shelf. “Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you liked them.”

“I like what I like,” Tim says with a casual shrug, but he seems a little embarrassed, and Jason watches, fascinated, as color rises to Tim’s cheeks. He’s never seen Tim blush, always so confident and easygoing.

“ _Y_ _ou got the right stuff, baby_ ,” Conner sings, doing the dance with it, thumbs tucked into his belt and kicking his legs side to side. He almost knocks over a display.

Tim turns away, lifting the hood of his shirt over his head.

“Look what you did,” Bart says, shoving Conner lightly. “You made Tim hide!”

“Aw, Tim!” Conner strikes a pose and sings, “ _Step by step, ooh, baby, really want you in my world…_ ”

Tim flips him off over his shoulder. Laughing, Conner drags Tim closer and throws an arm around him. He says, “Sorry, you know I think it’s cute.”

Suddenly Jason remembers what Roy had said that day in the library, about people thinking there’s something between Tim and Conner. Looking at them now, he can see how they might get that impression. Jason is always so nervous about being close to Tim, feeling like he’s shaking out of his skin, but the way Conner touches Tim is so natural and easy, like he’s done it a thousand times and knows Tim won’t mind. And Tim accepts Conner being plastered to his side and singing sappy lyrics into his ear.

Jason’s stomach twists. He wants to look away, but his eyes are stuck to the places where the two are touching- which is a lot of places.

Conner pulls Tim’s hood back down and runs his fingers through Tim’s hair, laughing when his rigid spikes hardly move.

Jason digs his nails into his palm.

“So what are we doing for Saturday?” Bart asks, snapping Jason’s concentration back from the hazy place it had drifted off to.

“There’s that new haunted house on twenty-third street,” Conner offers.

Tim frowns. “What are you talking about?”

“Halloween,” Bart answers. “It’s tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Tim looks at Jason. “Oh.”

Conner asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Jason and I have plans for tomorrow. He’s coming over for dinner. Dana is really excited about it.”

“She is?” Jason asks.

Tim smiles. “Yeah, she started marinating the chicken this morning.”

Conner finally lets his arm drop from Tim’s shoulder. “So, what, are we not hanging out?”

“Well...”

“It’s fine,” Jason says, his insides twisting all around again, “we can do that some other time.”

“But we had plans, and the chicken...”

“But it’s Halloween,” Bart argues. “And hey, Jason can come with us! That’d be cool, right? Who doesn’t love haunted houses? Right, Jason?”

“Yeah, that sounds fun. I guess.”

“Problem solved,” Conner announces, but Tim shakes his head.

“Dana won’t be happy, and I know she talked to my dad and made him promise to be there, and I really wanted- I just. I think it would be better if we didn’t mess up the plans. Okay? So maybe we can go to the haunted house on Sunday, it’ll still be open.”

Conner stares at Tim for a minute before nodding, adding a reluctant, “Okay,” which Bart seconds. “But I’m holding you to Sunday. I never see you anymore, man.”

“Just because I’m not spending every minute with you doesn’t mean you never see me. Now you only dominate half of my life, instead of all of it.”

“Well the other half is dominated by him,” Conner says, flicking his fingers at Jason. “You two didn’t even talk before six weeks ago, now you’re joined at the hip.”

Jason wants to point out how Conner was the one joined to Tim’s hip two minutes ago.

Conner nods at Jason. “Don’t Kori and Roy complain about you not being around as much?”

“No,” Jason answers after a minute of consideration. Kori and Roy haven’t said anything. He wonders if that’s because they don’t care if Jason is around or not. He wonders if they’ve talked about what they want to do for Halloween, and if they’re inviting Jason or not.

“Leave off, Kon,” Bart says, giving him another shove. “Tim’s allowed to have other friends. If he’s happy, I’m happy. And you’re totally happy, right Tim? Now help me find that new Kriss Kross CD.” He wanders down the aisle, tugging Conner after him.

Tim’s eyes meet Jason’s and they hold, and Jason feels that sense of _something_.

Conner calls Tim’s name but Tim doesn’t look away. “Yeah?”

“Come check this out!”

It’s another long moment before Tim breaks and walks over toward his friends. He glances back over his shoulder at Jason and smiles. “You coming?”

Jason sucks in a deep, shaky breath and nods.

“Good, you do _not_ want to miss Bart dancing to _Jump_.”

~

Dana answers the door with a big smile. “Hello, Jason. Come on in.”

Jason steps past her and slips off his shoes, leaving them next to Tim’s on the rack. “Hi, Mrs. Drake.”

The two other times Jason’s been here he had his backpack, but he doesn’t today (because this isn’t for school; he’s here just because Tim wants him to be) and he fidgets, not knowing quite what to do with his hands without a strap to hold. He settles for shoving them in his jacket pockets. It’s too big, but it’ll last him for the next few years, hopefully.

“Oh please, call me Dana. Tim’s in his room, you can go on up. And could you let him know dinner will be ready in an hour?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jason gives a jerky nod and heads for the stairs. Talking to Dana makes him uncomfortable. She’s so lively and her smiles are soft and her eyes are bright. He’s not used to it. The only other woman in his life that acts like that is Miss Lance. During class she’s always professional, saving any familiarity for when they interact at Ollie’s place, when she’s just Dinah, but he doesn’t see her all that often outside of school. Jason’s own mother certainly doesn’t smile like Dana does. He wonders if Janet Drake did.

Tim’s bedroom door is closed. Jason hesitates, and then knocks lightly.

“Come in,” comes Tim’s muffled voice through the wood.

Jason opens the door. “...Did you clean?”

There’s a noticeable difference from the last time Jason was here. It’s still a mess, but there aren’t any empty pudding cups or chip bags on the floor, and the dirty clothes are all in a pile in the corner, and the stacks of VHS tapes and video games look slightly less likely to fall over.

Tim, sitting on the floor with his back against the foot of his bed, smiles. “Hey. Yeah, a little bit. You looked like you had a problem with it before.”

“You… you cleaned for _me?_ ”

Tim shrugs. “Come sit,” he says, patting the carpet next to him. “I’m watching Next Gen. You just made it, the episode just started.”

“What?”

“ _Star Trek: The Next Generation_. Do you watch it?”

Jason pulls off his jacket and tosses it on the bed and then sits, leaving a couple inches between them. In front of them is Tim’s dresser, on top of which sits a bulky TV. “No, I haven’t seen it.”

“Do you want me to change the channel?”

“No, it’s fine. I can try it.”

“Okay, cool.” Jason keeps his eyes on the TV because it would be too obvious if he turned to watch Tim, but he can hear a smile in his voice. “Conner and Bart never want to watch with me.”

Jason doesn’t have any idea what’s going on in the show, but he doesn’t mind sitting through it if it makes Tim happy. Eventually though he asks, “Why is that dude yellow?”

“That’s Data, he’s an android.”

“They have the technology to fly faster than the speed of light, create perfect holographic images, and build a super smart android, and yet they couldn’t manage to make his skin or eyes a natural color?”

Tim laughs. “Sadly, that’s one of the smaller flaws in the show.”

A while later they watch Wesley Crusher and Data save the crew from being mind-controlled. Jason says, “That kid’s pretty smart.”

“He has an eidetic memory, and he basically grew up on the Enterprise, so he knows all about it. I really like him.”

Jason glances at Tim, who meets his eyes for just a second before looking away.

“The character. I mean, he’s a cool character.”

~

When they walk into the dining room Dana is removing one of the place settings from the table. The one at the head of the table.

“I thought Dad was eating with us.”

Dana sniffs quietly and gives a small, shaky smile. “He had some work to do.”

“Oh. Right.” Tim sounds a little disappointed. Resigned. Bitter.

They sit down to eat and Dana serves chicken and mixed vegetables and rice.

“This is really good, Dana,” Jason says.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Her smile is almost back to what it was before. “So, what have you been up to the past few weeks?”

Jason tells her, and when he says it out loud he realises how much of it is Tim-related. _Tim taught me how to skateboard. Tim and I went to the movies and saw_ The Mighty Ducks _. Tim and I went to the mall yesterday._ (And there are things he could say about the days he didn’t spend with Tim, but somehow those doesn’t seem as important.)

He’s not used to talking about himself like this. His mom doesn’t ask.

He quickly asks Dana about her day, to get the attention off of himself, and she seems more than happy to tell him all about it.

“Jason is a really good dancer,” Tim mentions a few minutes later. “He can salsa.”

“Oh really? That’s great, I used to go dancing with my friends,” Dana says wistfully. “We had so much fun.”

“He said he’d teach me.”

Jason nearly chokes on a piece of broccoli. He’d been hoping Tim had forgotten about that, or didn’t take the offer seriously.

Dana laughs. “Good luck! This boy has no rhythm.”

“Gee, thanks, Dana.”

“You’re welcome, Tim. Oh, I know- after dinner we can move the coffee table out of the way and you two can practice in the living room. We have the sound system in there so you can play music, and there’ll be plenty of room to move around.

“Cool,” Tim says, smiling.

Jason takes a large gulp of water.

~

Tim fiddles with the stereo, turning on the music that Dana picks out for them. He sets it to a volume that won’t disturb Mr. Drake, who’s in his office upstairs.

Dana volunteers to help, and she and Jason dance together for a few minutes to show Tim the steps and what it’s supposed to look like. Jason twirls her, and her blonde pony tails swings around as she laughs. She moves with more grace than Kori does, light on her toes like a ballerina.

She lets go and slows to a stop, face flushed. “Whew! I haven’t done that in years. Okay, I’ll leave you boys alone,” she says, heading up the stairs. “Have fun!”

Jason pauses the music. Tim steps closer and, after a moment, Jason rests one hand high on Tim’s back and raises the other for Tim to hold, which he does, setting his other hand on Jason’s shoulder.

“Okay.” His voice comes out too weak, and he clears his throat. “Okay, so start with your left foot.”

He slowly walks Tim through the steps. Tim’s baggy jeans drag along the floor and trip him, so he rolls them up a few times. Jason repeatedly reminds Tim not to watch his feet, to look up, but then he hates himself a little because that means Tim is looking right at Jason. And Jason is looking right at Tim. And that’s what you’re supposed to do, and they aren’t even very close to each other, but it still makes Jason want to squeeze his eyes shut.

Tim is two inches shorter than Jason. He is, just barely, looking up at Jason.

Catherine and Kori and Dana are all taller than Jason, and he’s used to being the one looking up.

Eventually Tim decides he’s ready to try it with the music. Jason is doubtful but Tim is determined, so he presses play and Jason leads him into the dance.

Tim is a disaster. He has no sense for the beat.

Jason tells himself that’s why he draws Tim in closer, so that he has more leverage to control Tim’s movements, using his hold to guide him. He pushes with the hand holding Tim’s and pulls with the one on his back.

“It looked different when you danced with Kori,” Tim says. “You were more stiff with Dana, and me.”

“I wouldn’t- um. I’m not comfortable dancing with Dana like I do with Kori. It would be inappropriate.” He knows exactly what Tim’s talking about- the way he and Kori swivel their hips, how close they get and the way they touch. It’s fun to be provocative with Kori. Salsa is a passionate dance and they like to roll with that.

“What about me?”

“What?”

Tim asks, “Would you be uncomfortable dancing that way with me?”

Jason stumbles and steps on Tim’s toes. “Shit, sorry!”

“It’s fine, I’ve stepped on your toes enough times,” Tim says with a small laugh. “So would you?”

Jason just stares, his body moving on auto-pilot to the music.

“Because, I mean, we’re friends,” Tim says. “And you and Kori are friends. So if you dance like that with her, you could dance like that with me.”

It’s so. Simple. When he explains it like that. But it’s not so simple; it’s not a fair comparison at all. It doesn’t matter if he brushes his hand up Kori’s thigh. It doesn’t mean anything.

So it would mean something with Tim?

He’s a boy, it shouldn’t mean anything.

But then by that logic it should mean something with Kori, because she’s a girl.

But Kori is different.

And so is Tim.

It’s not really a matter girl or boy, Jason decides. It’s a matter of _Tim_. And that does matter.

Just the idea of moving that way with Tim is enough to stall Jason’s entire thought process. Even dancing the way they are now, like he was with Dana, is hard enough to handle.

Jason swallows hard. He asks, “You want to?”

Tim nods. “It looks fun.”

“Um. Okay,” Jason’s mouth says. “It won’t be the same, because Kori knows a lot of moves that you don’t know yet. Also, you know, she’s a good dancer.”

“Ouch.”

Jason laughs, a short, nervous thing. Tim’s looking at him expectantly, so Jason turns off the part of his brain that’s freaking the fuck out and reels Tim in so they’re almost touching. He slides his hand a down Tim’s back and presses their hips together, positions his thigh between Tim’s, and then he _moves_.

Tim’s eyes widen briefly, and then he grins and leans into it, lets Jason push and pull him back and forth. He mostly has the steps down, at least to the point where he’s not tripping over every third beat. Jason takes a risk and pushes, guiding Tim through a spin, then drawing him back in to land against Jason’s chest.

It probably isn’t very pretty, but it feels amazing.

Tim’s face is so close, and he’s breathing hard, ribs expanding under Jason’s hand.

Jason rolls his body and Tim tries to move with it, but it’s not as smooth and he laughs a little. “That’s harder than it looks.”

Tim’s voice cuts through to that part of his brain he’d turned off, and suddenly Jason realises he’s _grinding_ on Tim. Jason quickly lets go and backs away.

“Sorry, that was-” not what he does with Kori. That was… nothing he’d do on the sidewalk where people could see. “Sorry.”

Tim wipes off a drop of sweat from his temple. His face and neck are red. Red. Tim- Red. “It was fun.”

“Yeah. Um, I should go,” Jason says. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh. Sure, okay. Did-” Tim pauses, then shakes his head and starts again, “I’ll run and get your jacket from my room, hold on.”

While Tim climbs the stairs, Jason drags the coffee table back into place and turns off the sound system. He goes to the foyer and shoves his shoes onto his feet.

His hands are shaking.

“Here,” Tim says, walking over to him, holding out the jacket.

Jason takes it but doesn’t put it on yet; he’s still hot from the dancing. “Thanks.”

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Tim asks, and the words are rushed.

“Yes. No.”

Tim frowns.

“Yes, but.” Jason looks at Tim’s hair. Still spiky. “But it’s okay. I liked it.”

Jason turns and leaves, not waiting for Tim’s response, not saying goodbye.

~

He lays in his bed staring up at the crack in his ceiling for a long time, long enough to welcome November.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about dancing, I'm so terrible at it, so that was kinda hard to write. Sorry if it's off.  
> But whew! Things are heating up :D


	8. November 2-6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, Drake, let’s see what you got,” Roy taunts.
> 
> “Come on, Tim,” Conner cheers, clapping Tim on the back as he walks to home plate.
> 
> “Woo! Go Tim!”
> 
> “Jason!”
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “You’re openly cheering for the other team!”
> 
> “Well he cheered for me when I was up to bat!”
> 
> “Oh my god, you two are fucking hopeless.” Roy rolls his eyes and winds up his pitch, lets it fly and Tim swings beautifully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a lot longer than I thought so I'm splitting it in two parts- so take note, total chapter count has been bumped up to eleven.  
> Also you may have noticed the chapter title- I decided to change all the chapter titles to the dates they happen on. I thought it might help y'all see how much time is passing.

Roy drops two cafeteria trays on the table as he sits on the bench opposite. Jason’s not sure what the food on the plate is actually supposed to be, but he takes it anyway.

“Thanks.”

“Sure. So did you have fun with Tim on Saturday?”

Jason flushes.

 _Fun_.

“Um, yeah, did you and Kori do anything for Halloween?”

“Not really. We stayed at Ollie’s and passed out candy. Kori dressed up as Leia.”

“Space princess.” Jason snorts appreciatively and takes a bite of his food. Chicken, maybe?

“You know,” Roy says, sliding his chicken nugget (possibly?) through a puddle of ketchup (good idea), “we would have asked you to come over but you were going to Tim’s, so.” Roy shrugs.

“Oh.” Jason smiles a little, and tells that insecure part of his brain to shut the hell up. Roy and Kori like him and they want him around and he needs to remember that.

“Yeah you were so excited about it when you told us on Thursday I just didn’t ask.”

“I wasn’t- I just mentioned it.”

Roy grins. “You mentioned it for five solid minutes.”

Jason stuffs his mouth with the mystery meat so that he doesn’t have to respond.

~

On the way to the library Tim asks, “Are you feeling better?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Jason answers, not meeting Tim’s eye. Jason had bailed on the trip to the haunted house on Sunday. He called Tim and said he wasn’t feeling well, and then spent the rest of the day in bed, reading book after book and trying not to think about holding Tim against himself and how happy Tim had been and what it would be like if Tim learned to dance- really dance. How he would move with Jason.

None of his favorite books managed to distract him enough to not picture it. It would have been far worse though, if he’d gone and actually seen Tim in person.

“How was the haunted house?”

“Great, Bart ran out halfway through and Kon said he wasn’t scared but he wouldn’t let go of my arm.”

“I’m sure he didn't.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Here.” Jason opens the library door and waves Tim through.

Barbara zeros in on them the second they walk in.

“There you are, Jason. I thought maybe you’d forgotten how to get here. I know it’s a hard journey, seeing as it’s a whole three blocks down the road from the school. And you must be Tim,” she says, eyeing him up and down. “The new friend.”

Tim waves. “And you’re Babs. Nice to meet you.”

She nods. “Where are the other two?”

“Kori forgot her books at home, and she made Roy go with her to get them,” Jason answers.

“That’s interesting, I could have sworn I saw her in here day before last, returning books,” Barbara says lightly. “Anyway, your table is waiting for you. Dick and Wally tried to sit there but I told them to move.”

“Oh yeah? How’d they take that?”

“Dick asked for my number.”

“Did you give it to him this time?”

“Yeah, right before I kicked him out the door.”

Jason shakes his head ruefully. “Now Babs, he needs to be able to study. You’re hindering his education.”

Barbara snorts. “Like he doesn’t have at least one library in that manor home of his, stocked with every book he’d ever need.”

“You’re probably right about that,” Jason says. “But now he can’t study _you_.”

She pulls a face. “Go away. Go be good and study something useful.”

Jason shows Tim to his favorite table.

“Okay,” Tim sighs as he drops into the chair next to Jason’s. “What do we have coming up?”

Jason opens his tracker and Tim grins at it. “A quiz in History tomorrow and then that review packet for Mr. Clark is due Friday. Have you done that yet?”

“Nope. Wanna do it together?”

“Sure.”

“Speaking of Friday, I had an idea.” Tim pulls out the homework from his backpack.

“For what?”

“Well you told me about how you and Kori and Roy play baseball, and I was thinking we could all play together. Like, you three and me, Conner, and Bart.”

“Um. Yeah, that could be cool. I’ll have to ask Roy and Kori if they’d be down for that.”

“Of course.”

Jason taps his pencil.

Tim asks, “Are you sure it’s okay? You don’t actually look all that excited about it.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s just. Well.” Jason bites his lip. “I don’t think Conner likes me very much.”

Tim tilts his head, his eyebrows drawing together. “Really?”

“He didn’t seem very happy about me tagging along the other day. And he was all over you.”

“Nah,” Tim says, waving his hand dismissively. “He just gets kinda jealous.”

“...Jealous?”

“Yeah?”

“Like… are you two- um.” God, Jason wants to stop talking. He shouldn’t have questioned it at all, because he’s veering very close to dangerous territory- stuff he’s been avoiding around Tim. He doesn’t want to talk about the possibility of Tim and Conner being something, the possibility of Tim being something with any boy. Except that he does, because he wants to hear Tim say that he and Conner _aren’t_ something. And he wants to know that he and Jason could-

No. He doesn’t.

(He does.)

Fuck.

Tim’s eyebrows shoot up. “Are we what?”

“Are you together,” Jason blurts out. He drops the pencil and tucks both hands underneath his thighs. The chair is cold. He can’t stop bouncing his leg.

A grin slowly stretches across Tim’s face. “Wow, that took you a while. Most people ask as soon as they hear the rumor.”

Jason swallows but it doesn’t really do much. His mouth is so dry. “What do you tell them?”

“I say it’s none of their business. They don’t like that answer. For some reason people think it _is_ their business, like they have a right to know.”

“I don’t think- I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me.”

Tim smiles. “And that’s exactly why I’m okay with talking to you about it.”

“Oh. So...”

“Conner and I are friends.”

“Like you and I are friends?”

“Not quite.”

Jason’s heart stops and he can’t feel his toes and he’s frozen, suspended in that long moment, feeling like everything depends on this. He’s staring at Tim, desperate for answer that won’t break him.

Tim says, “Conner and I are friends like you and Roy are friends.”

“And that’s.” He clears his throat. “That’s not the same way you and I are friends.”

“I don’t think so,” Tim says, staring right back at Jason. “Do you?”

“No,” Jason admits, a little breathless.

Tim smiles again.

“Hey, guys.”

Jason jumps, looks over to see Roy and Kori walking over. Kori’s looking at Jason and Tim, at the lack of space between them, and Jason slides his chair over. When had he gotten so close?

“Hey,” he says weakly.

They sit down on the other side of the table.

“So,” Tim says, leaning toward them, “I had an idea about Friday...”

~

_Crack!_

The ball flies toward left field and Kori is there, catching it neatly in her glove before Conner can make it halfway to first base.

“Dammit!” he curses, jogging back behind home plate.

“Nice try, Kent!” Kori yells, tossing the ball to Roy. “Maybe next time I’ll actually have to work for it!”

Conner flips a finger, which Kori cheerfully sends right back at him.

Next up is Bart. Roy pitches and Bart sends the ball as far away from Kori as he can, which means it goes right to Jason, who scoops it off the ground and is ready to tag him out at the plate but Bart reaches first base just in time.

Roy whistles. “That kid is fast!”

Bart grins and sends him a jaunty salute.

“Okay, Drake, let’s see what you got,” Roy taunts.

“Come on, Tim,” Conner cheers, clapping Tim on the back as he walks to home plate.

“Woo! Go Tim!”

“Jason!”

“What?”

“You’re openly cheering for the other team!”

“Well he cheered for me when I was up to bat!”

“Oh my god, you two are fucking hopeless.” Roy rolls his eyes and winds up his pitch, lets it fly and Tim swings beautifully.

The ball soars with a nice _pop_ and Tim bolts for first while Bart makes a break for second and Kori has to run deep in field to get the ball. She doesn’t catch it for an out, but gets it to Jason in time for him to stop Tim at second base. Bart makes it all the way for a home run.

“Yeah!” Conner shouts, shaking Bart around excitedly.

“Good hit,” Jason says, and Tim smiles, chest heaving

“Thanks.”

“Jason! Stop complimenting the enemy and get your ass back to first!”

Conner uses the bat to point at Kori. “I’m ready for you this time!”

“Go on and show me something!”

Kori catches it again, earning plenty of choice words from Conner.

Bart hits a couple foul balls and then finally gets the third hit, only for Jason to tag him out at first.

Conner’s next hit gets him to first, finally, and Tim runs home.

“Hell yeah,” Conner calls. “You didn’t get me!”

Kori shoots him an exaggerated thumbs-up. “Good for you, finally.”

It’s a challenge to play with only three players to a team, but this way Jason gets to run around, and Kori doesn’t kill herself covering the whole field, and Roy is having a blast yelling at everyone. So is Kori, actually. She and Conner go back and forth with the trash talk the whole game. Roy spends the game constantly impressed by how fast Bart can run. Most of Jason’s attention is on Tim.

Tim is red and sweaty and winded. It reminds Jason of when they were dancing, when Jason had his hand low on Tim’s back and-

Baseball.

Baseball coming right at him.

Jason gets his glove up at the last moment and fumbles the catch, but at least he didn’t get hit in the face. Roy yells, “Get, it! Get it!” and Jason scrambles for the ball, diving toward the plate just as Conner slides in.

Safe.

Conner stands, brushing dirt off his jeans. He looks down at Jason and then offers a hand, pulls him up.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

At home plate Tim is getting into position, trading some insults with Kori.

“You really like him, don’t you,” Conner says, quietly enough the others won’t hear.

Jason’s eyes snap away from Tim. “What?”

“I wasn’t really sure about...” Conner shrugs, flicking his fingers toward Tim, who misses his first swing. “I thought it was kinda weird that you never talked to him for eight years and then _bam_ \- you wanna be his best friend.”

“Bullshit,” Tim yells, “that was a ball, Harper!”

“Strike!” Roy argues.

Conner says, “I guess I thought maybe you were trying to fuck with him, be an asshole about the whole… you know.”

Jason stares. His mouth is probably hanging open.

“But it’s been a while now, and Tim just keeps telling me how awesome you are.”

“He does?”

Tim swings and misses.

Conner rolls his eyes. “All the time. Anyway, I’m trying to say I’m cool with it now. Sorry for being a jerk last week.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Hurt him and I’ll kill you,” Conner says with a smile and then he sprints away, and Jason realises the ball is in play and Tim is running toward him.

The game doesn’t end so much as they’re all eventually just too exhausted to keep playing. The group sprawls out on the benches near the field, resting their over-worked muscles.

They didn’t go to their usual park; instead they came to one closer to Tim’s house. It’s a lot nicer. The grass is thick and green and there’s minimal trash on the ground. It’s also a long bus ride away from Jason’s and Kori’s apartments and the sun is starting to set.

“You can stay at Ollie’s,” Roy offers before draining his water bottle. Next to him Bart snatches a bottle out of Conner’s hand, and Conner shoves Bart off the bench.

From another bench safely away from the shoving match, Kori nods, the loose bun on top of her head flopping around. “Sounds good.”

Tim leans back, crossing his legs at the ankle. His shoes are covered in bits of grass and mud. “You could stay at my house, Jason.”

Conner pauses sprinkling dirt in Bart's hair and glances up at Tim.

Jason feels like everyone is staring at him, Tim on his right and Kori on his left and Roy across from them and Conner and- well, not Bart. He’s busy trying to roll Conner off of him.

“Or, um. You can go to Ollie’s if you want. It’s fine,” Tim says quickly.

Kori subtly reaches over and pinches Jason’s arm.

“Your house! That’s- I want- um. No, I’ll go with you. Thanks.”

Bart finally manages to free himself and jumps up, shaking the dirt out of his hair. “Hey, sleepover! Totally cool, we should stay up and watch _Die Hard_ and see if Dana will let us make cookies again. I’ll say sorry for what happened last time and hopefully-”

“Bart did your mom make dinner? I’m sure she did, we should go see what it is,” Conner says.

“Why- Oh,” Bart says, looking at Tim and Jason. “Right, right, okay I get it, I underts-”

“Bartholomew,” Tim interrupts.

Bart rolls his eyes. “Timothy.”

“Alright we’re going.” Conner starts dragging Bart away, waving behind him as they go.

Bart calls, “Bye, guys! And gal!”

“Bye,” the rest chorus.

Roy sighs as he stands, rolling his shoulder. “You wanna rub me down, Kori?”

“How much will you pay me?”

“Five bucks.”

Kori snorts. “No way I’m touching you for less than fifty.”

“We’ll see,” Roy says, pulling Kori off the bench. “Good night, Jason. Tim.”

“Night.”

“See you.”

Then they’re alone.

Tim looks over at Jason. “So… ready to go?”

He nods, the cool night air making him shiver.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone that comments. I love you <3


	9. November 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets shot on-screen and Jason pretends it’s fascinating. It’s not, really. Tim is. Tim is fascinating, even when he’s doing nothing at all.

“Hoo! You boys stink!” Dana flaps a hand in front of her scrunched nose.

Tim grins, opening the fridge and grabbing two sodas. “Thanks, that’s so nice to come home to. Is it okay if Jason stays over tonight?”

“Sure!” Dana cracks open the oven, letting out a wave of heat and delicious smells. She peeks inside and then closes the door. “Are your parents okay with it, Jason?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” His mom probably won’t even notice that he won’t be home. It’s happened before.

“Okay, well you two shower and then come down for dinner; it’s almost ready. Go on, you’re stinking up my kitchen,” she says, shooing them out of the room.

Jason follows Tim upstairs.

“You can borrow my clothes, I should have some that fit you.” Tim goes to his dresser and rifles through the drawers. He turns and hands Jason a stack of clothes. “Here, you can have the shower first. Towels are in the closet in the hall.”

“Thanks,” Jason says, feeling awkward. He’s going to use Tim’s shower and wear his clothes and sleep… in his bed, maybe. Or a guest bed? The Drakes seem like the kind of people that have a guest bedroom. Where will Tim expect Jason to sleep tonight? Should he just ask, or would that be weird?

Okay, shower first, freak out about sleeping arrangements later.

Stopping by the closet to grab a towel, Jason goes into the bathroom and sets the clothes on the counter. It looks like Tim is the only one that uses this bathroom; Jack and Dana probably have one attached to their bedroom. He makes the shower quick, overly aware of the fact that Tim showers in here on a regular basis. In fact, he’ll be showering in here as soon as Jason is done.

Jason shoves his face under the water stream.

It feels like a violation, somehow, to use Tim’s soap and shampoo. It’s… intimate. They’ll smell the same now.

He cuts off the water and dries himself with the towel. The t-shirt and shorts and boxers (oh god, he wearing Tim’s boxers- he wants to crawl into a hole) fit just fine, since Tim isn’t that much smaller than Jason and tends to wear baggy clothes. They would be comfortable, if Jason wasn’t so uncomfortable from the situation.

He carries his dirty things back to Tim’s room. “Um, where should I put these?”

“Hamper’s over there,” Tim points. “You can borrow some more stuff for tomorrow, or if you want I can ask Dana to wash them tonight.”

Jason frowns. “Why would you ask her to do it?”

“Uh...”

“Wait, do you not know how to do laundry?”

“Not… really.”

“Does Dana do all of your laundry?” Jason asks, and Tim nods. Jason shakes his head. “Don’t bother her with it, I can do it myself. Actually, you know what, I’m gonna show you how to do it,” he says decisively.

Tim blinks, and then grins slowly. “Okay.”

“Go,” Jason waves Tim through the door. “Shower and then I’m teaching you how to take care of yourself like a real human being.”

While Tim is gone Jason wanders around his room, looking at everything. ( _Not_ thinking about him being naked, right down the hall.) He finds a picture of Tim with Bart and Conner on either side, their arms slung easily over each other’s shoulders. It doesn’t bother him to see like it did before. He still wishes he could do that so naturally, just wrap an arm around Tim like it belongs there, but that will probably come with time. You can’t just jump into something so comfortable. It grows. You build it up day by day. He’s enjoying building the _something_ between him and Tim. The thing they’ve both acknowledged is indeed something, different at least than what they have with everyone else.

Whatever it is, he likes it.

And he thinks Tim does too.

According to Conner, Tim thinks Jason is awesome.

Jason catches himself grinning and can’t stop.

The next picture on the shelf is of a woman who must be Janet Drake. She has lighter hair than Tim but the same eyes and nose and mouth. Tim’s lucky, Jason thinks, to look like his mother. Jason doesn’t look at all like Catherine. He’s a spitting image of Willis Todd, and he hates it.

“That was taken the week before she died.”

Jason turns and Tim is standing there, watching him, with a towel wrapped around his waist. Water drips from his hair onto his shoulders. His chest is flat and smooth and pale.

Jason quickly looks away and sets down the picture. “Sorry,” he says, not really sure what he’s apologising for.

Tim grabs some clothes from his dresser. “Forgot to take these with me. I’ll be right back.”

The bookshelf in the corner holds more video tapes than books, which isn’t surprising. He looks through the movie titles while he waits, thinking Bart had a good idea earlier; they should watch a movie after dinner. Tim has _Die Hard_ and _Die Hard 2_ , and Jason hasn’t seen the sequel.

Tim returns, dressed and damp and his hair isn’t all spiked up like it always is, and Jason stares. He wants to touch Tim’s hair. Not right now, because wet hair feels kinda gross, but maybe later when it’s dry. Will it be fluffy when it dries? Jason can’t wait to find out.

“You ready to eat?” Tim asks, and Jason just nods instead of opening his mouth and possibly asking if Tim will let Jason pet him later.

They go downstairs to the dining room and sit at the table set for three. Just as Dana finishes serving the casserole Mr. Drake walks in.

“Is there room for one more?”

Dana pauses, the big spoon frozen in mid-air. “Oh! I thought you said you had too much work to catch up on tonight.”

“I can spare an hour for my family,” Jack says. “And Jason.”

Jason gives a short wave. “Hi.”

Dana unfreezes. “Great! Let me go get a you a plate.”

“I know where they are,” Jack says with a wry smile. “I’m not that clueless.”

With a laugh Dana sits, and Jack goes into the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a plate and fork of his own. He sits at the head of the table. “Looks good, honey. Thank you.”

Dana beams, delighted.

Tim smiles too, smaller but no less pleased.

“So what have you boys been up to?”

Tim leans forward eagerly. “Jason and I played baseball today...”

~

“Now press start,” Jason says, and Tim does, the washer turning over with a faint beep.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“It’s so simple,” Tim says, eyebrows scrunching together.

The Drakes have their very own laundry room in the apartment, though it’s a tiny room. Jason has to stand close to Tim. Because of the lack of space.

“Just wait, the dryer is even easier.”

Tim hums thoughtfully, leaning against the rattling machine. “So does this mean I’m a real human being now?”

“That honor comes after you put away your clean clothes.”

“Hey, I already do that part myself.”

Jason grins. “What a big boy. Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Tim says, grinning right back at him. “How should we celebrate?”

It’s hot in this little room. And Tim is really close and looks so… not vulnerable, because Tim Drake never looks helpless, but he’s comfortable and open, and it turns out Tim’s hair is fluffy and soft and not quite as dark without all the gel. It makes Jason want to hug him.

Tim catches him looking at his hair and runs a hand though it self-consciously.

“I like it,” Jason is quick to say. “It’s… nice.”

Is that weird? Is he allowed to say stuff like that?

Tim smiles, so Jason figures it’s okay.

He likes when Tim smiles. He likes when Tim smiles because of him.

He clears his throat. “We could watch _Die Hard_?”

“Sounds good,” Tim says after a moment. His cheeks are a little pink. Because it’s hot in there. “I think there’s ice cream left in the freezer. I can go get it while you set up the movie?”

Jason agrees and heads for Tim’s bedroom while Tim jumps down the stairs.

Jason grabs the tape off the shelf and slides it into the VCR. Tim didn’t rewind it the last time he watched, so Jason has to do it. Then he fast-forwards past the _coming soon_ part and pauses it at the beginning of the movie.

Because Tim is apparently an animal he brings the entire carton of chocolate ice cream and two spoons, but no bowls. But Jason doesn’t mind too much because they have to sit right next to each other in order to share it, Tim’s leg pressed along Jason’s. They’re on the bed, propped up against the headboard.

By the time the Nakatomi employees have been taken hostage, Jason and Tim have finished off the rest of the ice cream.

Jason is only half-heartedly paying attention to John McClane being bad ass. He’s looking at Tim’s feet, stretched out in front of him. His socks are mismatched, and Jason remembers that moment the first time he came over to work on that essay, when he saw Tim’s socks- one white and one black- and it made him smile. How he fell asleep that night thinking about them. He nudges Tim’s foot with his own.

Tim glances over, the light from the TV playing over his face in the otherwise dark room. “What?”

“Oh, I didn’t...” He didn’t mean to get Tim’s attention, he just got charmed by his feet and wanted to touch him. “It’s funny that you don’t wear matching socks.”

Tim looks down, seeming surprised by his white and black socks. “Heh. I didn’t even notice, just grabbed two without looking.”

“I think that’s why it’s cute,” Jason says absently. And then he freezes.

Tim’s eyes widen, and he makes a small, choked-off noise.

Someone gets shot on-screen and Jason pretends it’s fascinating. It’s not, really. Tim is. Tim is fascinating, even when he’s doing nothing at all.

After the movie ends Jason directs Tim through putting the load of clothes into the dryer and turning it on.

Tim does a little fist pump. “I’m awesome.”

“You sure are,” Jason says, but it comes out less sarcastic than he meant it to, and more stupidly fond. “Does this mean you’re gonna start doing all of your own laundry?”

“Totally. Dana will be so proud of me.”

They walk down the hall back to Tim’s room, the carpet muffling their steps. They’re careful to stay quiet because Tim’s parents have already gone to bed. After Tim shuts his door behind them Jason says, “My mom was so happy when I started doing my laundry. She taught me how as soon as I was tall enough to reach the dials.”

“Why?”

“So that she wouldn’t have to do it anymore.” He sees the way Tim is frowning. He supposes that doesn’t sound great, but it’s not that bad, really. “It’s better when I’m in charge of stuff like that. She forgets.”

“You never talk about her,” Tim says softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Jason lets the moment hang there, in the dim light from the TV screen, in the silence of Tim’s room.

Tim waits.

Finally, “Not much to say.”

“That can’t be true.”

Jason shoves his hands into his pockets, glad that Tim gave him shorts with pockets.

“Look, Jay, you don’t have to talk about it. Seriously, it’s none of my business. Just, if you want to, I don’t mind listening.”

Just a few days ago Jason said something similar, and Tim had smiled and answered, _And that’s exactly why I’m okay with talking to you about it._

“It- It doesn’t really affect me, you know?” Jason drops down onto the desk chair. “I mean, I want her to be happy and healthy because I love her, but I’m not sure what would be different, really, if she was sober. How would that change my life, at all?”

“You wouldn’t have to take of yourself. Most teenagers have parents that take care of _them_.”

“Do they really?” Jason shakes his head. “I think you’re the outlier, Tim.”

Tim thinks about that for a minute and then, “I don’t know if that’s true, but parents _should_ take care of their kids. You should have a mom that you can talk to and eat dinner with. Who can give you advice and give you a home.”

Jason bites the inside of his cheek. “I never said my mom doesn’t do those things.”

“Not straight out, no. But I figured it out. Am I wrong?”

Rather than answer Jason asks, “Since when do you clue in to shit? You couldn’t even see that you’re just like Scout.”

“Well someone told me I should learn to look at the lives of people around me and empathise, and I thought I’d try it out.”

“They sound smart.”

“They are.”

Jason looks away from Tim’s earnest expression.

“She’s the one that taught me how to dance. And she used to sing when she did the dishes.” Jason fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “She still does, sometimes. On good days.”

Though it doesn’t seem like there’s been a good day in a long time.

“My mom never sang. But that might just be because she was terrible at it.” Tim huffs a small laugh, and Jason smiles back. “She didn’t do anything she wasn’t good at.”

“What was she good at?”

“Making grown men cry.”

Jason laughs. “What, like as a hobby?”

Tim smiles. “No, no, she worked at Drake Industries, she and my dad ran it together. She was really good at running a business. She could tear down a man in a suit with just a few words.

“It’s been…. Hard. For my dad since she died. It got better when he met Dana, but.”

Tim gets this far off look in his eyes, seeing things that happened years ago.

“Hey, Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

Tim’s focus lands on Jason again. He blinks. “Thank you. I’m sorry about yours.”

Jason shrugs, uncomfortable with Tim’s sympathy where it’s not deserved. “It isn’t really the same thing, is it.”

“It’s not nothing.”

If it’s not nothing, then it’s something.

Maybe it is something.

Jason has gotten pretty good at recognising _somethings_ lately.

“Is it okay if I ask where your dad is?”

“You can ask,” Jason says, “but I can’t answer. I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“That’s not nothing either. And that’s a not-nothing I can’t relate to.”

Jason looks at Tim for a moment and then carefully says, “Doesn’t seem like your dad is around that much.”

Tim frowns. “He’s home a lot.”

“Yeah, but. He’s working, right? You two don’t… You just seem closer with Dana.”

“It isn’t really the same thing, is it,” Tim says, echoing the moment from just a minute ago.

“It’s not nothing,” Jason answers.

~

They play _Mario Kart_ for a while to air out the heaviness in the room. Jason feels raw and open but it feels good, in a way, because Tim is right there with him.

When Jason drives right off the track because he’s so tired, Tim suggests they go to sleep, which is a brilliant idea. Sleep sounds so good. It’s just… “Where am I sleeping?”

“What do you mean?” Tim asks, taking the advantage and leaving Jason in his dust.

“Am I- am I staying in here tonight?”

“Yeah,” Tim says easily.

And. Okay. That’s fine. Totally fine.

Tim crosses the finish line with a little victory dance and then shuts off the console and the TV, leaving the room only lit by the moonlight coming in through the window. He pulls off his sweatpants and socks and climbs onto one side of the bed in just a t-shirt and boxers. Jason watches as he slides under the covers and settles onto a pillow. Tim looks up at him expectantly.

Totally and completely fine.

Jason follows his lead with hands that only tremble a little. He holds his breath as he lies down on the other side of the bed. The sheets are soft and the blanket is thick and warm. The pillow is fluffy. It’s all very comfortable. Jason forces himself to breathe. At least Tim probably can’t feel the way he’s shaking.

It’s silent as they lie there, a few inches between them. Jason can’t imagine being able to actually fall asleep right now, even though he’s exhausted.

Tim rolls on his side, facing Jason.

Jason takes a deep breath and does the same. There’s not enough light for him to see Tim’s face, just the outline of his form.

Slowly, Tim reaches up to where Jason’s hand lays in front of his chest. The touch is barely there at first, and then Tim gently slides his fingers between Jason’s, pressing their palms together.

Tim’s hand is warm and kind of clammy and… trembling slightly.

Jason tightens his grip. He can hear Tim release a sigh.

“Good night,” Tim says quietly.

Jason swallows. “Night.”

He closes his eyes and focuses on the feel of Tim’s hand in his until he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thanks for all the kudos and comments. Even though I haven't been replying to them lately, trust me I'm reading them and squealing and crying with joy <3
> 
> Also if you see any mistakes please feel free to point them out. I'm just a poor dyslexic, help a sister out :)


	10. November 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim likes him. He said it.
> 
> Tim _likes him_.
> 
> He wants to hold hands and he wants Jason around and he _likes_ him.
> 
> “I like you, too,” Jason says, voice soft.
> 
> And then all of a sudden that _something_ that Jason has been gradually coming to know is this. _This_ is that something with clear edges and a defined shape. It has a word. It has mass. It has colors. Jason can see it now, knows exactly what it is. They both see what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took so long!! I wrote the first scene and then all of my mojo just fucked off for a couple weeks. Finishing the last two scenes was like pulling teeth, so I'm sorry if the quality of writing plummets toward the end, but hey I did it :) 
> 
> One last chapter to go and then we're done!

Jason wakes up warm, from the sunlight spilling in from the window and Tim cuddled up against him. His arm is draped over Tim’s waist, Tim’s face pressed into Jason’s chest. Jason smiles sleepily and holds him closer, wrapping a leg around Tim’s.

Tim makes a small, contented noise.

Jason’s eyes snap open.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he hisses, scrambling away. His limbs get caught in the blankets and he shoves hard, ends up taking them with him as he drops onto the floor with a _thump_.

“What the hell.” Tim’s voice is groggy from sleep. A moment later he peeks over the edge of the mattress, looking down at Jason, who’s still twisted up in the sheets.

“Sorry,” he gasps, heart pounding.

“For taking my blanket, or for kicking me?” Jason just blinks up at him, and Tim shakes his head. “Alright, well good morning.”

“Morning,” Jason returns weakly.

Tim sighs, settling down criss-cross. “Okay I think it’s time to talk about it.”

“Talk about what?”

“The reason you’re on the floor right now,” Tim says, giving him a flat look.

Jason frees himself from the bedding. He can’t look at Tim. “I fell.”

“Because you freaked out.”

“I was… surprised.”

“Jason,” Tim says. He pauses, and Jason glances up, sees him biting his lip and frowning. His shirt is lopsided, threatening to fall off one shoulder. “Why did you start talking to me?”

“What?”

“We pretty much ignored each other for years, and then we got put into the closet together at that party, and someone told you about… about me. And then you wanted to be friends. Tell me why.”

“I don’t know.”

“Jason,” Tim says, tone verging on sharp.

“No, I. Really. You were…” Jason trails off, frustrated, trying to find the right words. He hasn’t even thought it through to himself, so it’s hard to explain it to someone else. “It felt like you knew something I didn’t. I wanted to know what it was.”

Tim stares at him. “Do you know what it is now?”

“It’s. Something,” he tries. That’s as far as he’s gotten. “It’s something and I like it and we both.” He swallows. “We both know it’s there.”

“Is that it?” Jason looks at him helplessly, and Tim continues, “Is that the only reason you hang out with me? If you knew someone else who was-” Tim catches on the word, starts again, “who could show you what you wanted to know, would you be with them right now? Is it just that? Do you even like _me_?”

“No! I mean yes!” Jason groans, scared and confused. “I mean, it’s just you.”

Tim doesn’t look very assured.

Jason stands. He thinks better when he moves, so he paces the room. It has the advantage of giving him somewhere else to look, because he can’t get the words out when Tim is looking at him like that, hopeful but guarded. “I started talking to you because you were really cool when we were in the closet, and you noticed that I color-code my tracker. I didn’t think anyone noticed that, and then I realised there’s probably tons of things about _you_ that _I_ never noticed. And suddenly I was interested in those things, in everything about you, because you seemed so… together. Like I said, you knew something. You knew who you were. I wanted that.

“And then you were just. Really cool. Shit, I already said that.” Jason pulls at his hair. “You’re… I just… I like being around you. I like the things you say and do and you make me think about things differently. So yes, you’ve shown me stuff, but I don’t want to learn from anyone else.”

After a moment Tim asks, “So what do you want from me?”

Jason stops and turns toward him then. “What? I don’t kn- whatever you wanna give me,” he says honestly.

“Are you here to learn more about yourself,” Tim asks, “or do you want to be with me?”

“Be with… what do you mean?”

Tim says, “I think you know. Be _together_.”

“But.” Jason asks, a little desperately, “What would _that mean_?”

“It _means_ you could cuddle me without freaking out. You could tell me you think my socks are cute and touch my hair and not pretend you’re not staring. It means it’s okay to feel the way you do, and you’ll know I feel the same way. It means you don’t have to bite your tongue or shove your hands in your pockets, because you can show me when you like me. You can hold my hand and know that I want you around and that I like you. Because I do. Like you.”

Tim likes him. He said it.

Tim _likes him_.

He wants to hold hands and he wants Jason around and he _likes_ him.

“I like you, too,” Jason says, voice soft.

And then all of a sudden that _something_ that Jason has been gradually coming to know is this. _This_ is that something with clear edges and a defined shape. It has a word. It has mass. It has colors. Jason can see it now, knows exactly what it is. They both see what it is.

Jason likes Tim. He wants to be around him all the time, study together and play video games together and dance and eat ice cream and skateboard and learn new things. Together. He wants what Tim talked about, being able to do those things without being afraid or uncertain. He wants to know that he and Tim are on the same page, that the way Tim looks at him means the same thing as when he looks at Tim. He wants to hold Tim’s hand without shaking, and be right there next to him like that’s where he belongs. He wants to be…

Together. If that’s what it means.

He wants Tim. Wants him in a way he doesn’t want Kori or Roy. Because he likes them too, and he hangs out with them and studies with them, but it’s. Different. With Tim. A different kind of _like_ and a different kind of _want_ and a different kind of _friend_.

The realisation is both exhilarating and terrifying.

He _likes_ a boy. He _wants_ a boy.

But it’s not about that, really.

It’s just about _Tim_.

“I like you,” Jason says again, more confidently. “I want you. I wanna be with you.”

Tim’s cheeks turn pink and he glances away, but he’s smiling, one side of his mouth curled up happily.

“Okay.”

“...Okay?”

“Well. No, actually.”

“What?”

“I just- I’m not sure...”

“Tim, please, you’re killing me here.”

Tim laughs, a little. It’s strained. “I want that too. But I need- I know you like me, but I don’t want to be… a test run. For you. I need for you to be _sure_ , because I’m not here just for you to experiment with.”

“I wouldn’t-”

Tim holds up a hand, interrupting. “I want you to think about it, okay? You _just now_ figured out you like me, I think you need some time to let that sink in. And I would feel better if you gave it some more thought, so. Please.”

Jason nods. It makes sense. “Okay. I’ll, uh. Call you? Or see you at school on Monday?”

“Yeah, whichever.” Tim stands. “Um, I’m gonna go downstairs so you can get dressed. Meet me down there.”

He leaves, and Jason goes to the little laundry room and pulls his clothes out of the dryer. They smell like Tim.

~

Jason goes straight to Roy’s. Kori answers the door in a tank top and baggy sweatpants, eyes bleary like she rolled out of bed just to let him in.

“I like Tim,” Jason blurts out.

Kori blinks slowly.

“I know you already knew that, even before I knew what it was you knew, but now _I_ know, so. Yeah.”

“Finally figured it out, huh,” Kori mumbles, turning away from the doorway. Jason steps inside and goes to the kitchen to grab some breakfast while Kori walks down the hall yelling, “Roy, wake up! Our son discovered his _feelings!_ ”

Roy says something in response, though Jason can’t make out the words. He hoists himself up on the island and pours himself a bowl of cereal while Kori needles Roy to get up. Soon the pair come shuffling into the kitchen and grab bowls for themselves, leaning against the counter to eat their cereal. Roy’s hair is a mess, sticking up in all directions. Jason realises Tim’s hair was like that too, but he hadn’t really had the opportunity to appreciate it at the time.

“So,” Roy mumbles around a mouthful of Cheerios, “what happened?”

He tells them about his conversation with Tim.

“How long do you need to think about it?” Roy asks.

Jason shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Kori asks, “Do you wanna talk it out?”

“No.” Jason looks at them, at his two best friends who love him. “Thank you.”

For everything. For supporting and encouraging him and knowing what he needed when he had no idea who he even was, he doesn’t say. But they hear it. They know. They always know.

“Let’s see if you’re still thanking me after I kick your ass at _Mortal Kombat_ ,” Kori says. “You woke me up early on a _Saturday_. I need my revenge.”

~

Jason comes home to the smell of burnt grilled cheese sandwiches. He knows that smell instantly. It’s his mom’s favorite food. They’re easy and cheap and she loves cheese.

Catherine greets him with a smile, standing in front of the stove top in their tiny kitchen. “Hey, sweetie. You want one?” she asks, waving a spatula at the sandwich on the skillet.

She must be feeling good right now. Jason smiles. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Here.” Catherine slides the blackened grilled cheese onto a plate. She always burns them. Jason thinks she just likes it that way. “You can have this one.”

“Thanks.” Jason takes it and sits down at the table while his mom gets out the bread and cheese and butter and starts cooking another one for herself. He eats quietly, watching her. She’s wearing her Winnie the Pooh pajamas. Her hair is tied back, and looks clean. Definitely a good day.

He almost tells her. If ever there were a time to talk about something important, it’s now. She’d listen. She’d probably remember.

He wants to tell her. He wants her to know all about Tim and how great he is, and how he makes Jason feel. How freaking happy Jason is. How it feels to finally not be scared and confused. A little nervous, yes, but he figured it out. He has a word for it and he could say it, right here and right now. He could tell someone. Someone who doesn’t already know.

He doesn’t tell her. He has no idea how she would react, and if it’s something that would upset her, he doesn’t want to ruin her good day. They don’t come that often and he won’t chase this one away. It can wait. She’ll get better, someday. He’ll tell her then.

Jason doesn’t say anything about Tim. Instead he asks, “You wanna watch _Wheel of Fortune_?” and they spend the evening on the couch together, arguing over what the answers to the puzzles are and eating burned grilled cheese sandwiches and Catherine laughs once, and it’s great. It’d be nice if nights like this happened all the time. It’d be nice if they we eating a three-course meal at a table with a whole family. But he doesn’t worry about his mom when he goes to bed that night, so he’s happy.

He doesn’t think about what state Catherine will be in the next day, or the possibility of it not working out with Tim. He just lets himself be happy as he falls asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love and appreciate the hell out of all of your comments, they really help motivate me <3


	11. November 9-10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim smiles. He reaches up and rubs his thumb across Jason’s forehead.
> 
> “What’re you doing?” Jason asks.
> 
> “Wiping off the _I don’t kiss boys_ you had up there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Short chapter, but I think it wraps everything up nicely. I can't say thank you enough for all the support and encouragement y'all have given me during this project. 
> 
> This fic isn't perfect but it's exactly the story I wanted to write, and I'm really happy with it. I hope you are too :)

Jason is the first one in his seat Monday morning.

Tim is the second.

Jason can’t help his smile when Tim walks into the classroom and sits down next to him. Just seeing him instantly makes him warm and giddy and he sits on his hands to keep them from reaching across the aisle and touching him. Tim notices and he grins. There’s still a question between them, but it’s smaller and calmer than the one that’s been rattling around their space for the past couple months. They settled things on Saturday and even if the world ends at that moment, Jason knows Tim likes him, and Tim knows Jason likes him, and nothing can take that away from them.

When Miss Lance starts class Jason realises that all of the other students have come in without him noticing, and he’s just been staring at Tim like a doofus for ten minutes. But Tim’s been staring back, so it’s okay.

He’s sure about them.

He’s so freaking sure.

~

“Why don’t you go sit next to him instead of staring at him from across the cafeteria?” Roy asks. “I wouldn’t mind moving over there.”

Jason tears his eyes away from Tim’s lunch table. “I’m still _thinking_.”

“But you already know what you’re gonna do, right?”

“Of course,” Jason says instantly, “but I don’t want him to think that I’m rushing it or anything. He wanted me to take some time and be sure, and that’s what I’m doing.”

“Four days seems like enough time to me. And if you’re already sure...”

“Is it though?” Jason asks. “How long does he expect me to think? If I try to talk to him too soon, he’ll think I’m not taking it seriously. If I wait too long, he might think I’m struggling with it, like I don’t really want to be with him.” Tim had given him a weird look that morning in History. Maybe he’s already starting to worry.

Roy chews on a fry contemplatively. Finally he says, “Come over after school.”

“Fine, but what about the Tim thing?”

“Just come over. It’ll be fine.”

Jason sighs and steals the rest of Roy’s burger. “Okay, Dad.”

Roy grins.

~

“What the _hell_ , guys?” Jason yells, smacking the door with his palm again. “What are you doing? Let me out!”

Kori had asked him to grab her jacket from the hall closet and then shut the door, trapping him inside. That was about five minutes ago.

His hand stings. His throat is starting to get sore.

Suddenly the door opens and Tim comes stumbling through, falling onto Jason, who catches him before he can fall. He sees a flash of Kori’s hair and Roy’s smile before the door is slammed shut again.

“What the fuck,” Tim says as he straightens up.

Jason reluctantly lets go. “I don’t know.” He’d turned on the light a few minutes ago, so he can watch Tim look around the small room. There’s nothing but coats on the rack and not much space for them to stand.

“This is the second time Roy Harper has shoved me into a closet. I don’t know if I’ll be so forgiving this time.”

Jason nods. “I might actually punch him this time.”

Tim looks up at him. Jason can feel the warmth of his breath, of his body. Like when they were dancing. Like when they woke up in bed together.

“...Maybe not, though.”

Tim clears his throat.

“Tell him you like him!” Roy yells suddenly, pounding on the other side of the door. “Make it official so you can stop _pining_.”

“Fuck off, Harper!” Jason yells back, but he can’t stop the smile that pulls at his mouth as he does it.

Tim raises an eyebrow. “Why are you so happy?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you and my asshole friends locked us in a closet together.” And because he’s remembering being in this same situation back when everything was different. The excitement he’s feeling now is so much better than the confusion and embarrassment and fear he felt at that party. He’d felt so out of place and _wrong_ , and looking at Tim now, all he’s feeling is _good_ and _right_.

“So you wouldn’t want to be in here with anyone else?” Tim’s lips curl on the side wryly, but there’s a real question there too.

“No,” Jason says, holding Tim’s eyes. “Just you.”

Tim chews the inside of his cheek. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. I like you, Tim, and I wanna be with you.”

“Okay.” He smiles. “I like you too.”

“So, that’s it? We’re… You’re my. Boyfriend?”

Tim laughs. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You _guess?_ I need you to know these things, Tim, because I don’t.”

“Boyfriend, yes. We’re a couple. It’s official.” Tim rolls his eyes. “Let’s go to prom together.”

“You’re joking about prom, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

They’re quiet for a minute, just looking at each other, and then,

“I’m gonna kiss you,” Jason says. Maybe too loudly.

“Oh.”

“If- if that’s okay. I mean, we don’t have to. I don’t know... I don’t expect anyth-”

“Jason.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna kiss you.” It sounds cooler when Tim says it. It sounds _great_ when Tim says it.

Jason swallows. His voice shakes a little when he says, “Okay,” even though he was the first one to suggest it. He’s nervous. Not in a bad way, but he has no idea what comes next. What does he do? Where do his hands go? Does he close his eyes? What should he be doing with his lips?  

Slowly, Tim steps in closer. The tips of his chucks hit Jason’s. Tim leans up a bit and Jason leans down, and then.

Jason holds his breath. He feels like he could rattle apart at the seams any second.

Their lips touch.

Jason freezes. His hands are dead weight at his sides. His eyes are open but he’s not really seeing anything.

It feels kind of weird. Not bad, just different and new.

It’s quick and soft, and then Tim is moving away.

They kissed.

Tim kissed him.

Jason just had his first kiss.

He forces himself to breathe.

Tim’s looking at him, eyes wide.

Jason’s fingers touch fabric, and he realises he’s grabbing at Tim’s shirt, reeling him in again. This time Jason kisses Tim. It’s clumsy and probably bad but really awesome at the same time.

Tim smiles. He reaches up and rubs his thumb across Jason’s forehead.

“What’re you doing?” Jason asks.

“Wiping off the _I don’t kiss boys_ you had up there.”

~

When Jason and Tim come out of the closet Kori and Roy are standing there, arms crossed and looking at them expectantly.

Kori demands, “Well?”

“Well what?” Tim returns innocently.

Roy rolls his eyes. “Whatever, we already know. Look how stupid and happy Jason is.”

All three of them turn toward him, and Jason doesn’t know what what his face is doing but apparently it really is something stupid and happy because Kori laughs and Tim smiles, and then slips his hand into Jason’s.

“Yeah, okay,” Tim sighs.

“Call up your boys,” Roy says, jerking his chin at Tim. “We’re gonna go play some ball.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for following this and showing love for it <3
> 
> If you're interested, here are some random things that I had in my notes for this fic but that never made into the actual story or that happen in the future:  
> -Tim is bi.  
> -Jason is ace.  
> -Tim went to his mom and asked her if it was normal to like both boys and girls; she died shortly after and he hasn't been comfortable talking about it with Dana or his dad, because Janet didn't react well.  
> -Tim was so adamant that Jason take the time and be sure because Conner thought he might like Tim at one point. It was barely anything, and didn't hurt their friendship, but Tim had experience with confused friends before so he was wary about Jason.  
> -Catherine doesn't get better.  
> -Jason and Roy move to Tim's lunch table with Conner and Bart and Cassie. (Kori has a different lunch period.)  
> -Tim brings Jason lunch most days. He mentioned to Dana that Jason didn't usually have one, and she started making them for him.  
> -Tim dated Stephanie briefly the year before. They're still friends and she and Jason get along really well.  
> -Barbara is the first person Jason tells about being with Tim.  
> -Kori spends most nights at Roy's house. Her parents don't care about her very much. Ollie rarely notices that she's always there, but he doesn't mind.  
> -Roy likes Dinah better than Ollie, and feels like he could count on her more than him.  
> -Jason calls Tim to remind him about every test.  
> -He gets better at skateboarding, but not as good as Tim.  
> -Tim gets Kori to teach him how to salsa better and surprises Jason with it.  
> -There are rumors about Jason and Tim.  
> -Tim is charmed by how Jason color-codes everything.  
> -Tim comes over to meet Catherine once. It's uncomfortable for everyone but Tim likes that he got to see that part of Jason's life, and he kisses Jason a little too long in the hall before he leaves.  
> -Jason doesn't mind listening to New Kids on the Block with Tim but stops watching Star Trek with him.  
> -Kori watches Star Trek with Tim.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://generatorcat.tumblr.com/), if you're interested :)


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